*i'm fine. this has nothing to do with the baby girl.*
and now the ugly OB bitching begins.
my ear infection is recurring. it started saturday with the ear pain and the burning drainage down the eustachian tube, causing severe sore throat, and i can't talk very well with it.
so i coped until Monday. fortunately, my OB's office was open.
unfortunately, her BRAIN was CLOSED!
at my last visit, i saw an MD. the one i particularly dislike. she dismisses my concerns. i report the things i'm asked to report, or the "red flags," and she just shuts me down. it pisses me off and i'm PRAYING FERVENTLY she doesn't attend my birth. i may kick her. i'll probably kick her at that time if she attends.
[when i told her i was excessively thirsty in the evening, she said "drink more." nuf sed.]
so i phoned the office at 10 a.m. i had just gotten up; slept late yesterday as a "holiday." went to work, called the office. left a DETAILED message about my ear. the midwife i last saw 3 weeks ago diagnosed the ear infection, so i thought i'd call the OB first, start there.
the message went to the bad OB b/c she'd seen me last (last week, unrelated matters).
at 2:30, i phoned back to make sure i didn't fall through the cracks. they assured me i wouldn't. told me to call back before 4:30 when they closed the phone lines if i hadn't heard from them.
i admit it, i spaced - of course, it was too late to be seen if that was what they wanted anyway.
however, THEY called ME at 5:00 - regarding the unrelated matters from last week. the lady who called back said my other message was probably delayed b/c SHE had my chart, and likely they were looking for it.
[meanwhile, i've phoned the pharmacy repeatedly asking if they've gotten a call. nope.]
i gave up when i hadn't heard anything by 5:30. and i wanted to bawl my eyes out but my throat hurt too bad.
at 7:20, i got a phone call from the office. this poor nurse was sitting there returning all of the calls - and Monday is always busiest, b/c of we who have been waiting all weekend for medical care/advice!
she says the doctor glanced at the note at 5:00 and said "it would be poor standard of care to prescribe her anything without actually seeing her ear."
my reply: "i'm NOT bitching at you, but i AM bitching! it's poor standard of care to get a message at 10 a.m. and to not reply to it in such a manner until 7:20 p.m., when it's too late to DO anything ABOUT it!"
i DID what i was supposed to do. i phoned them as instructed, i followed up so i wouldn't fall through the cracks.
but i fell through the cracks anyway.
i am SO steaming. had it been ME, i'd have prescribed the antibiotic b/c of the poor office procedures, and asked me to come in today for an exam without fail. so maybe the poor ear infection could start getting better! *grumble cuss*
on the flip side, my PHARMACY phoned me back to say they'd never heard from the OB. they take better care of me than she does! they are totally awesome.
i'm phoning the GP this morning. i'll have to be seen, but the copay isn't $35, it's $20. and i'm never phoning the OB again about anything unrelated to pregnancy. next week, when i see a different MD/OB in the office, he's getting an EARFUL! i need to know their procedures regarding attending birth, cuz i'd way rather have a nurse practitioner or midwife attend, and i DON'T want the bad girl NO MATTER WHAT! i'druther have a resident attend.
thanks for listening. i'm thoroughly ventilated now.
ps - saw the OB today b/c the GP couldn't see me until Thursday. they felt that since i'd had URIs for the last two months, and this has survived three cycles of antibiotics, i needed to be seen by an ENT. they got me an appointment for Thursday, but wanted to wait until then for the antibiotics, so the ENT would SEE something, instead of a half-way well ear. i'm not happy about it, but i understand. *sigh*
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
the saga continues/vent
since DH had a brain fart the resulted in the kids staying home, i let him take care of the "excuse note." i didn't expect the absence to BE excused, but they still need a note.
as he's rushing them out the door, i hear him saying, "Well, I'm sure you had a stomach ache at some point yesterday, so here's your excuse."
*sigh*
just phoned him in the car. my points:
1. this teaches them that when it is expedient, it's OK to lie.
2. when we disagree on points like this, we shouldn't discuss them in front of the children. [this was one of our spats this weekend, him questioning me in such a manner. my reply made him mad, so he was nasty to me.]
his answer:
1. he didn't want them to be punished for his mistake.
2. i'm probably right.
he can't just come out and SAY i'm right, he has to say "probably." ARGH! but he DID say he'd talk to them about it. and i know he didn't consider the consequences. he just wanted to get the note written, and them not to be in trouble. and i was really nice on the phone.
but parents have to ALWAYS consider the consequences, dammit! he's easygoing and i'm a control freak (he calls me a micro-manager in the nastiest voice possible when he's fed up with this). we make a good team most of the time. but i don't want to be the only ADULT. he plays with the kids and i discipline them. it's not fair!
OK, i feel better. i know it doesn't ever end up fair. and when i'm totally laid up, he does step up a bit on the disipline factor.
as i closed with him - being parents is always something.
as he's rushing them out the door, i hear him saying, "Well, I'm sure you had a stomach ache at some point yesterday, so here's your excuse."
*sigh*
just phoned him in the car. my points:
1. this teaches them that when it is expedient, it's OK to lie.
2. when we disagree on points like this, we shouldn't discuss them in front of the children. [this was one of our spats this weekend, him questioning me in such a manner. my reply made him mad, so he was nasty to me.]
his answer:
1. he didn't want them to be punished for his mistake.
2. i'm probably right.
he can't just come out and SAY i'm right, he has to say "probably." ARGH! but he DID say he'd talk to them about it. and i know he didn't consider the consequences. he just wanted to get the note written, and them not to be in trouble. and i was really nice on the phone.
but parents have to ALWAYS consider the consequences, dammit! he's easygoing and i'm a control freak (he calls me a micro-manager in the nastiest voice possible when he's fed up with this). we make a good team most of the time. but i don't want to be the only ADULT. he plays with the kids and i discipline them. it's not fair!
OK, i feel better. i know it doesn't ever end up fair. and when i'm totally laid up, he does step up a bit on the disipline factor.
as i closed with him - being parents is always something.
my three freaks
last night DH had a church meeting. i put the boys to bed on time. he came home shortly thereafter and went in to rile them up. gr.
but after he told me the story, i couldn't help but laugh. so i couldn't be mad!
he went in and #2 son says, "dad, sleep with me tonight!"
#1 son: "but then i'll have to sleep with mom, so she won't be lonely!"
DH: "mom won't be lonely. she has the baby with her ALL the time - she's never lonely! for me to be as close to you as she is to the baby, i'd have to - EAT you!"
#1 son: "then i could hug your esophagus!"
#2 son: "and _I_ could tickle your LIVER!"
(ps - after much laughing and riling the boys us, DH came back and slept in his own bed. so i WASN'T lonely. :p )
but after he told me the story, i couldn't help but laugh. so i couldn't be mad!
he went in and #2 son says, "dad, sleep with me tonight!"
#1 son: "but then i'll have to sleep with mom, so she won't be lonely!"
DH: "mom won't be lonely. she has the baby with her ALL the time - she's never lonely! for me to be as close to you as she is to the baby, i'd have to - EAT you!"
#1 son: "then i could hug your esophagus!"
#2 son: "and _I_ could tickle your LIVER!"
(ps - after much laughing and riling the boys us, DH came back and slept in his own bed. so i WASN'T lonely. :p )
Monday, February 19, 2007
finally saw Casino Royale
took the kids to the $2 theater and saw the movie. couple of scary bits, nothing too heavy for my boys. it was SO awesome! and can i just say - and this is the whole point of the post - YUM. Daniel Craig featured prominently in my dreams later.
i was pleasantly surprised by the movie. i'm still in mourning over Pierce Brosnan - after having him on my list since my teens, it was the dream of a lifetime when he became Bond. to have him no longer be so was heartbreaking. and for the first five minutes of the movie, i missed him.
and then Craig took over. the writing on this was probably sappy out of context, but IN context - damn. "your smile and your little finger are more masculine than any other man i've ever met." "that's because they can't do what i can with my little finger!" (paraphrased, gimme a break!) anyway - my heart went thump and i'm firmly on team Craig for the duration!
we came home and watched the two Brosnan Bonds we own, Goldfinger and Tomorrow Never Dies. will have to get busy acquiring more Bonds! (you have some really wild dreams after watching 3 Bonds in less than 24 hours, btw!)
i was pleasantly surprised by the movie. i'm still in mourning over Pierce Brosnan - after having him on my list since my teens, it was the dream of a lifetime when he became Bond. to have him no longer be so was heartbreaking. and for the first five minutes of the movie, i missed him.
and then Craig took over. the writing on this was probably sappy out of context, but IN context - damn. "your smile and your little finger are more masculine than any other man i've ever met." "that's because they can't do what i can with my little finger!" (paraphrased, gimme a break!) anyway - my heart went thump and i'm firmly on team Craig for the duration!
we came home and watched the two Brosnan Bonds we own, Goldfinger and Tomorrow Never Dies. will have to get busy acquiring more Bonds! (you have some really wild dreams after watching 3 Bonds in less than 24 hours, btw!)
i did it again.
i failed to send my children to school when they should have gone.
i'm really kicking myself for a supreme idiot about now. i have NOT gotten them ready b/c i mis-read the "snow day/delay" list on channel 2. i have sent them on time b/c i didn't check the "snow day/delay" list at all. and today i didn't send them at all.
but wait a minute - instead of kicking myself, shouldn't i be kicking my mis-INFORMANT? namely: DH. dammit! HE is the one who told me they were off today; in fact, he arranged to take the day off, too. so shouldn't i be kicking HIM?
maybe not - we don't need excuses to snipe at each other. [not really true, just last night we were; his idea of making up was making moves. i let him. otherwise, he's been an angel for months.]
however, i did issue a new edict: DH IS IN CHARGE of double-checking the school schedule. NOT me. i quit.
i wanted to quit everything when i first realized "i" had screwed up again. thank goodness i realized in time that, once again, DH is at fault!
i'm really kicking myself for a supreme idiot about now. i have NOT gotten them ready b/c i mis-read the "snow day/delay" list on channel 2. i have sent them on time b/c i didn't check the "snow day/delay" list at all. and today i didn't send them at all.
but wait a minute - instead of kicking myself, shouldn't i be kicking my mis-INFORMANT? namely: DH. dammit! HE is the one who told me they were off today; in fact, he arranged to take the day off, too. so shouldn't i be kicking HIM?
maybe not - we don't need excuses to snipe at each other. [not really true, just last night we were; his idea of making up was making moves. i let him. otherwise, he's been an angel for months.]
however, i did issue a new edict: DH IS IN CHARGE of double-checking the school schedule. NOT me. i quit.
i wanted to quit everything when i first realized "i" had screwed up again. thank goodness i realized in time that, once again, DH is at fault!
...but a GOOD freak
#2 son is really about the most tender-hearted person i've ever met. he told us a while back that he likes making friends with people who don't have any. this isn't a result of years of church pounding thoughts into his head; these are HIS thoughts.
for his brother's birthday last June, he got to invite one friend to the big slumber party. this friend mentioned in passing that he likes Tyler b/c he never makes fun of anyone. can you think of ANYTHING that would make parents happier?
so, DH and i were sniping at each other yesterday (it was all HIS fault). and i was griping about my many horrible aches and pains (arms alternately numb and SCREAMING painful being chief amongst them). my sweetheart son came and snuggled up to me and said "it's probably your hormones, mom." nothing else could possibly have broken that pity party!
next time i'll have some thoughts about #1 son. he's hitting pre-puberty (actually, he's been dragging it around for a couple of years already), so it's not always as easy to find the fun stuff to talk about. and he's decided to be embarrassed at EVERY story i tell. (good thing he doesn't know about the blog, huh?) so, if the balance of stories is weighted towards #2, that's why; i'm tired of being in trouble every time i say #1's name!
for his brother's birthday last June, he got to invite one friend to the big slumber party. this friend mentioned in passing that he likes Tyler b/c he never makes fun of anyone. can you think of ANYTHING that would make parents happier?
so, DH and i were sniping at each other yesterday (it was all HIS fault). and i was griping about my many horrible aches and pains (arms alternately numb and SCREAMING painful being chief amongst them). my sweetheart son came and snuggled up to me and said "it's probably your hormones, mom." nothing else could possibly have broken that pity party!
next time i'll have some thoughts about #1 son. he's hitting pre-puberty (actually, he's been dragging it around for a couple of years already), so it's not always as easy to find the fun stuff to talk about. and he's decided to be embarrassed at EVERY story i tell. (good thing he doesn't know about the blog, huh?) so, if the balance of stories is weighted towards #2, that's why; i'm tired of being in trouble every time i say #1's name!
Friday, February 16, 2007
#2 son is a freak!
i was just mentioning elsewhere how he will put ice on an injury, since he was just little, and keep it there; most small fry won't even let you TOUCH an injury with ice!
other ways he's a freak of nature:
we went to the supermarket wed. to return some moldy bread. we do the produce aisle first. as we pass the exotic veg, he asks if we can have asparagus. i say no, they don't take care of it properly here (the stems must be kept damp for tender sparagi!), so we don't like it. so he looks in the next bin and asks "how about eggplant?" tiny japanese eggplant, just as delicate as a bound foot.
well, actually, since #3 brother lives in Japan with his wife and hybrid daughter (whom we all love dearly), he recently sent a recipe for eggplant and pork. but it calls for miso and i haven't gotten any yet. (ALL of his recipes use miso!) so i told him we had to get the miso before the perishable.
we proceed around the perimeter of the store to the frozen foods. where he says, mom, can we buy OKRA? at this point i'm beginning to look at him rather strangely. we all like asparagus, so we do pay too much for it when it appears to be in good shape. but okra? i've eaten that about twice in my life! i told him i don't know how to cook it, but i'll see if i can find out. i'm sure there's a church lady or two who would love to teach me to cook more southern!
two more steps. "mom, buy brussels sprouts!" "Tyler, are you - hungry?" "YES!" "You didn't like brussels sprouts the last time i made them." "I liked them when Carol (auntie) made them!" "well, i'll see if i can find out what she did that made you like them."
one or two of these would have been a laugh, but at this point, i'm staring at him like he's turned green and sprouted a few more heads. and thus needed to preserve the story for all time! - or until an EMP kills the internet.
so i took him home and fed him yogurt. tonight we went to the japanese (!) restaurant (hibachi style) and fed him california rolls, his favorite food on earth. hey - i get some great stories out of this freaky kid! and i'm finding more things to feed him that will keep him healthy!
other ways he's a freak of nature:
we went to the supermarket wed. to return some moldy bread. we do the produce aisle first. as we pass the exotic veg, he asks if we can have asparagus. i say no, they don't take care of it properly here (the stems must be kept damp for tender sparagi!), so we don't like it. so he looks in the next bin and asks "how about eggplant?" tiny japanese eggplant, just as delicate as a bound foot.
well, actually, since #3 brother lives in Japan with his wife and hybrid daughter (whom we all love dearly), he recently sent a recipe for eggplant and pork. but it calls for miso and i haven't gotten any yet. (ALL of his recipes use miso!) so i told him we had to get the miso before the perishable.
we proceed around the perimeter of the store to the frozen foods. where he says, mom, can we buy OKRA? at this point i'm beginning to look at him rather strangely. we all like asparagus, so we do pay too much for it when it appears to be in good shape. but okra? i've eaten that about twice in my life! i told him i don't know how to cook it, but i'll see if i can find out. i'm sure there's a church lady or two who would love to teach me to cook more southern!
two more steps. "mom, buy brussels sprouts!" "Tyler, are you - hungry?" "YES!" "You didn't like brussels sprouts the last time i made them." "I liked them when Carol (auntie) made them!" "well, i'll see if i can find out what she did that made you like them."
one or two of these would have been a laugh, but at this point, i'm staring at him like he's turned green and sprouted a few more heads. and thus needed to preserve the story for all time! - or until an EMP kills the internet.
so i took him home and fed him yogurt. tonight we went to the japanese (!) restaurant (hibachi style) and fed him california rolls, his favorite food on earth. hey - i get some great stories out of this freaky kid! and i'm finding more things to feed him that will keep him healthy!
Friday Fave Five
oh my goodness, it's Friday again! fortunately i made some notes earlier in the week.
1. internet jokes! the good ones live forever - unfortunately, so do the bad ones. but some can really make your day.
2. blogs. is there anything more fun that getting to know someone who's just about as warped as you are? we can all use another friend - it's hard to be strictly cyber, but we manage!
3. technology. damn, you can do just about ANYTHING with technology. you can see a satellite photo of your house, in such detail as to know if anyone's outside! another remarkable tool for spying on your neighbors - or keeping track of your children!
4. jokes about computers - particularly the one comparing a car to a computer. we love them, we hate them, we can't live without them!
5. fave fives with themes!
not as touch-feely as last week, but i'm more goofy this week, iguess.
if i can get some "audience" participation, i'd love to have a poll on which joke y'all like the best! read through the last few weeks and give me an opinion!
1. internet jokes! the good ones live forever - unfortunately, so do the bad ones. but some can really make your day.
2. blogs. is there anything more fun that getting to know someone who's just about as warped as you are? we can all use another friend - it's hard to be strictly cyber, but we manage!
3. technology. damn, you can do just about ANYTHING with technology. you can see a satellite photo of your house, in such detail as to know if anyone's outside! another remarkable tool for spying on your neighbors - or keeping track of your children!
4. jokes about computers - particularly the one comparing a car to a computer. we love them, we hate them, we can't live without them!
5. fave fives with themes!
not as touch-feely as last week, but i'm more goofy this week, iguess.
if i can get some "audience" participation, i'd love to have a poll on which joke y'all like the best! read through the last few weeks and give me an opinion!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
life is hard. it's harder when you're stupid.
(these are first-person tales, but they're retold, not about me!)
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
*******
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
*******
What do a bicycle and a mailbox have in common?
Neither of them can swim!!!!
*******
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness.
"The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
*******
got your joke fix for the day? good!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
*******
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
*******
What do a bicycle and a mailbox have in common?
Neither of them can swim!!!!
*******
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness.
"The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
*******
got your joke fix for the day? good!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
going into poll withdrawal
so here's one:
1. Do you like Valentines Day? yes, i think b/c of childhood memories
2. Do you make a big deal out of it? no
3. What are you doing for Valentines Day? not much; might make a big chocolate chip cookie with chocolate pudding on it... (pampered chef recipe)
4. What are you giving/getting for Valentines Day? i'd BETTER be getting chocolate, after the "subtle" hints i fired at him! we don't do much anymore now that we're OLD.
plus some un-Valentine questions for those who say "hell no!"
5. What's your favourite season and why? i like spring best, b/c the warm weather is coming to STAY! (also before allergies start)
6. What's your favourite activity of each season? spending time in the sun. i don't "lay out" or anything, but i love spending time outside in beautiful weather - before the allergies kick in. the best thing i can think of for winter is snuggling up with hot soup or other hot comfort food.
7. What's your best memory of each season?
spring - dying easter eggs in Kindergarten
summer - playing in the sprinkler
fall - crunching leaves and eating Whoppers (i have to have them when it gets cool every year!) - they were penny candy 30 years ago.
winter - christmas
8. What's your least favourite season and why? winter - i HATE the cold!
9. What's your least favourite activity of each season?
spring - allergies
summer - trying to work while the kids are home
fall - all the bills that come with back to school
winter - EVERYTHING! i hate snow work (shoveling) and play (skiing, etc.). i actually enjoy ice skating but not enough to get COLD. do we sense a theme here?
10. What's your worst memory of each season?
spring - sneezing, wheezing, itching
summer - allergies that won't leave
fall - idiots who burn leaves! sense another theme here? respiratory distress!
winter - painting projects at school for christmas, i spilled paint all down the front of my dress. older sister was FURIOUS b/c it had been her favorite; she cried when she outgrew it!
1. Do you like Valentines Day? yes, i think b/c of childhood memories
2. Do you make a big deal out of it? no
3. What are you doing for Valentines Day? not much; might make a big chocolate chip cookie with chocolate pudding on it... (pampered chef recipe)
4. What are you giving/getting for Valentines Day? i'd BETTER be getting chocolate, after the "subtle" hints i fired at him! we don't do much anymore now that we're OLD.
plus some un-Valentine questions for those who say "hell no!"
5. What's your favourite season and why? i like spring best, b/c the warm weather is coming to STAY! (also before allergies start)
6. What's your favourite activity of each season? spending time in the sun. i don't "lay out" or anything, but i love spending time outside in beautiful weather - before the allergies kick in. the best thing i can think of for winter is snuggling up with hot soup or other hot comfort food.
7. What's your best memory of each season?
spring - dying easter eggs in Kindergarten
summer - playing in the sprinkler
fall - crunching leaves and eating Whoppers (i have to have them when it gets cool every year!) - they were penny candy 30 years ago.
winter - christmas
8. What's your least favourite season and why? winter - i HATE the cold!
9. What's your least favourite activity of each season?
spring - allergies
summer - trying to work while the kids are home
fall - all the bills that come with back to school
winter - EVERYTHING! i hate snow work (shoveling) and play (skiing, etc.). i actually enjoy ice skating but not enough to get COLD. do we sense a theme here?
10. What's your worst memory of each season?
spring - sneezing, wheezing, itching
summer - allergies that won't leave
fall - idiots who burn leaves! sense another theme here? respiratory distress!
winter - painting projects at school for christmas, i spilled paint all down the front of my dress. older sister was FURIOUS b/c it had been her favorite; she cried when she outgrew it!
Men are from Mars...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel You have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
"You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
==========
a just and loving God!
i'm just impressed with what the guy got done! can you imagine how much YOUR SO would do in the same sitch?
God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel You have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
"You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
==========
a just and loving God!
i'm just impressed with what the guy got done! can you imagine how much YOUR SO would do in the same sitch?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
good things!
i'm so excited. my wonderful sister's box arrived yesterday. she talked a lot about how "ugly" her clothes were, but i think that's b/c she hasn't been un-pregnant long enough to remember anything but hating all she could wear! they're great! lovely pants that are so much nicer than i would buy - and _I_ can wear them to church (she can't, goes to a "dressy" church)! so i'm sitting here dressed nicely and feeling pretty!
i did manage to find a few things at oldnavy.com, too, so i'm feeling pretty well fixed (except of course for bras, but i'm never satisfied in that department. maybe if i got implants i would be...).
bad things are still out there, including arms that tingle and hurt and wake me up at night and the OB makes me come in for (later today), and pounding, fast heart at bedtime, but i'm focusing on GOOD THINGS today!
i did manage to find a few things at oldnavy.com, too, so i'm feeling pretty well fixed (except of course for bras, but i'm never satisfied in that department. maybe if i got implants i would be...).
bad things are still out there, including arms that tingle and hurt and wake me up at night and the OB makes me come in for (later today), and pounding, fast heart at bedtime, but i'm focusing on GOOD THINGS today!
Monday, February 12, 2007
why underwear is important
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
************
and y'all thought i was going to be griping about MY undies again!
ps - thanks to KG for the joke!
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
************
and y'all thought i was going to be griping about MY undies again!
ps - thanks to KG for the joke!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Friday Fave Five
stewbert does this and it seemed like a great idea, but i'm not sure i can come up with "fave five." doesn't hurt to try, tho; here goes.
1. I'm grateful for DH.
A. he's been "on session" at church for a year now, and it's amazing how it's changed him. i just talked with him about #1 son's ADHD problem, and we had the BEST conversation about what steps to take (get him evaluated), what to discuss, how to present it to him, how it's affecting him. it was amazing!
B. he's also been SUPER nice this time i'm pregnant. it's a totally different experience with a DH who doesn't send off "you lazy thing, this is all your fault" vibes. i credit his faith and growth with this, too. he's picked up all the slack i've left him (with first-trimester coma followed by two months of nasty colds, sinus infections, strep, and ear infections!).
2. I'm so glad i never have to do this again (see above for reasons)! I LOVE my babies and i'm thrilled to get another one - even more so that it's a girl. and i'm glad i get to hang up my fertility and feel finished and fulfilled after this pregnancy is over.
3. My job. i'druther be a SAHM, but if i have to work (and i do), it's a fulfilling, challenging job, that i do from home so i'm here for my neurotic babies who can't cope without me. yeah, i'm bored and frustrated at times. but i like it mostly.
4. my neurotic babies who can't cope without me. shoot, if your kids can't be needy and let you exercise your nurturing and patience, who can? and damn, i've changed since i've had kids.
5. my big family and friends. y'all keep me from going completely bonkers with this stupid job that keeps me home all the time without human adult social interaction! electronic will just hafta do for now. we have birthdays all year, what with 6 sibs and spouses, plus 14 grandchildren after miriam pops out. so i'm always thinking of someone. *snif* and missing them, but that's life in the modern world. at least we have electronics!
i did it!
1. I'm grateful for DH.
A. he's been "on session" at church for a year now, and it's amazing how it's changed him. i just talked with him about #1 son's ADHD problem, and we had the BEST conversation about what steps to take (get him evaluated), what to discuss, how to present it to him, how it's affecting him. it was amazing!
B. he's also been SUPER nice this time i'm pregnant. it's a totally different experience with a DH who doesn't send off "you lazy thing, this is all your fault" vibes. i credit his faith and growth with this, too. he's picked up all the slack i've left him (with first-trimester coma followed by two months of nasty colds, sinus infections, strep, and ear infections!).
2. I'm so glad i never have to do this again (see above for reasons)! I LOVE my babies and i'm thrilled to get another one - even more so that it's a girl. and i'm glad i get to hang up my fertility and feel finished and fulfilled after this pregnancy is over.
3. My job. i'druther be a SAHM, but if i have to work (and i do), it's a fulfilling, challenging job, that i do from home so i'm here for my neurotic babies who can't cope without me. yeah, i'm bored and frustrated at times. but i like it mostly.
4. my neurotic babies who can't cope without me. shoot, if your kids can't be needy and let you exercise your nurturing and patience, who can? and damn, i've changed since i've had kids.
5. my big family and friends. y'all keep me from going completely bonkers with this stupid job that keeps me home all the time without human adult social interaction! electronic will just hafta do for now. we have birthdays all year, what with 6 sibs and spouses, plus 14 grandchildren after miriam pops out. so i'm always thinking of someone. *snif* and missing them, but that's life in the modern world. at least we have electronics!
i did it!
OMG!
i just took an "ADHD questionnaire" on behalf of #1 son. we've wondered for some time if he has some trouble with this.
he scored 28 - "very severe ADHD behaviors."
gee, are we stupid or what? we've wondered if this could be affecting him, but never thought he really had it. well, DH was certain he didn't (when did he get HIS psych degree?), and i wondered, repeatedly, but didn't want to fight about it.
time to get down and nasty, i guess.
here's the link to the questionnaire: https://healthmanager.webmd.com/webmd/advHQ/GuestUser.aspx?StartID=1003
now i'll see if MY symptoms apply!
addendum: mine were in the "mild" category; may not be due to ADHD. of course, if you checked ANY boxes, you got mild. so i'm pretty comfortable with my current psychiatric state!
some days it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps.
addendum 2: appointment scheduled for 3/1/07 - will keep posted at this space!
he scored 28 - "very severe ADHD behaviors."
gee, are we stupid or what? we've wondered if this could be affecting him, but never thought he really had it. well, DH was certain he didn't (when did he get HIS psych degree?), and i wondered, repeatedly, but didn't want to fight about it.
time to get down and nasty, i guess.
here's the link to the questionnaire: https://healthmanager.webmd.com/webmd/advHQ/GuestUser.aspx?StartID=1003
now i'll see if MY symptoms apply!
addendum: mine were in the "mild" category; may not be due to ADHD. of course, if you checked ANY boxes, you got mild. so i'm pretty comfortable with my current psychiatric state!
some days it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps.
addendum 2: appointment scheduled for 3/1/07 - will keep posted at this space!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
i love thursdays
it's almost friday, you can taste the weekend. (of course, i work half a day saturday to get my hours in for the week, but it's still the weekend!)
my newspaper puts in all the fun stuff on thursday (news of the weird, lipstick mystic, advice goddess). it's the light at the end of the tunnel!
thursday is almost better than friday around here. of course, thursday "the 12th" is always worse than friday "the 13th" for me. does this show a trend?
*********
i have a black computer keyboard, with half the letters rubbed off due to my extreme typing speed and hours spent. i also have a silver sharpie. i finally got the two together two days ago and wrote the letters back on.
isn't sharpie supposed to last forever????? cuz the letters are GONE again. except X - i guess it takes a little longer. maybe i should mark all of the keys "X"!
it's a pain b/c all of the keys on the bottom are barely there. i have a Z, a B, and a question mark, and a fragment of a comma. if i'm editing and trying to insert punctuation with my left hand while i arrow around with my right, i end up with M's all over the place instead of commas.
perhaps a new keyboard? right after i get enough maternity clothes i don't have to do the wash every other day.
my newspaper puts in all the fun stuff on thursday (news of the weird, lipstick mystic, advice goddess). it's the light at the end of the tunnel!
thursday is almost better than friday around here. of course, thursday "the 12th" is always worse than friday "the 13th" for me. does this show a trend?
*********
i have a black computer keyboard, with half the letters rubbed off due to my extreme typing speed and hours spent. i also have a silver sharpie. i finally got the two together two days ago and wrote the letters back on.
isn't sharpie supposed to last forever????? cuz the letters are GONE again. except X - i guess it takes a little longer. maybe i should mark all of the keys "X"!
it's a pain b/c all of the keys on the bottom are barely there. i have a Z, a B, and a question mark, and a fragment of a comma. if i'm editing and trying to insert punctuation with my left hand while i arrow around with my right, i end up with M's all over the place instead of commas.
perhaps a new keyboard? right after i get enough maternity clothes i don't have to do the wash every other day.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
joke du jour 2/7
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work Boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim: I went to the Gun shop for more ammunition, back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work Boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim: I went to the Gun shop for more ammunition, back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
i love my sister
i love both my sisters, and refer to my sisters-in-law most often as sisters, but today i love my older sister best, and i'll tell you why.
you may recall i phoned her sat. crying about not being able to find anything to wear. she promised to send me what she had from her last pregnancy.
my dear sister called me yesterday morning, despite being terribly sick with a nasty sinus infection. she'd already boxed up the clothes, and needed to confirm my zip code (since our modern life doesn't use snailmail addresses most of the time!). then she called back yesterday p.m. to tell me she'd been too sick to get to the post office, apologized, and promised to get it out today. what a woman!
if it were me, i'd still be thinking about getting my slack-ass (term thanks to my new fave, jill: http://www.sweetpotatoqueens.com/) up to look at the clothes, and wondering where i'd find a box. i'd probably just run on down to the UPS store with a bag full of stuff. they keep track of my life for me - you can go in with three bags of stuff, and they'll package it and ship it and have the addresses on file the next time you go. i love the UPS store. it's too damn expensive, but i don't care. http://www.theupsstore.com/?ysmwa=vYjvaqTbkEDPgT2i6eOIwj-ji4tL_B2FKmD13KJXL63Lc52Btf6KbIzXA8hVGvd_ (i've no idea why that tag is so long!)
anyway, i had to write a tribute to big sister, who loves me. hormonal women need to get their love where they can!
you may recall i phoned her sat. crying about not being able to find anything to wear. she promised to send me what she had from her last pregnancy.
my dear sister called me yesterday morning, despite being terribly sick with a nasty sinus infection. she'd already boxed up the clothes, and needed to confirm my zip code (since our modern life doesn't use snailmail addresses most of the time!). then she called back yesterday p.m. to tell me she'd been too sick to get to the post office, apologized, and promised to get it out today. what a woman!
if it were me, i'd still be thinking about getting my slack-ass (term thanks to my new fave, jill: http://www.sweetpotatoqueens.com/) up to look at the clothes, and wondering where i'd find a box. i'd probably just run on down to the UPS store with a bag full of stuff. they keep track of my life for me - you can go in with three bags of stuff, and they'll package it and ship it and have the addresses on file the next time you go. i love the UPS store. it's too damn expensive, but i don't care. http://www.theupsstore.com/?ysmwa=vYjvaqTbkEDPgT2i6eOIwj-ji4tL_B2FKmD13KJXL63Lc52Btf6KbIzXA8hVGvd_ (i've no idea why that tag is so long!)
anyway, i had to write a tribute to big sister, who loves me. hormonal women need to get their love where they can!
Monday, February 05, 2007
the bra rants continue
I had to go to the mall to get bras. you may recall, i hate going to the mall; it has been two years since i went.
"motherhood" has bras. you have to spend good money on bras. otherwise the floobies hurt like heck all the time.
they don't, however, have ANYTHING ELSE in plus sizes. they claim Sears carries their line in plus sizes. so i returned to the mall (!!!) to go to Sears Saturday.
Sears may carry the stuff, but they don't HAVE any. returned to motherhood to do the hormonal bitch thing. they say, they carry it, but not very much, and it sells through really fast.
my reply: "Do I LOOK like I have time to haunt Sears every five minutes to catch the plus-size clothes before they sell through?" Don't be sending hormonal women to Sears when you KNOW they're unlikely to have anything when they get there!
then i cried all the way to "once upon a child." where i found a shirt to cover my belly, with the skirt i bought last week, so i had something to wear to church. (hadn't been in a month, only partly b/c i had NOTHING TO WEAR!)
my dear sister is mailing me HER ugly maternity clothes so i can look awful but be covered. (her description) and i CAN get stuff online - but i don't have $$ to spend, or time to wait, to get SOMETHING on my belly. GR.
"motherhood" has bras. you have to spend good money on bras. otherwise the floobies hurt like heck all the time.
they don't, however, have ANYTHING ELSE in plus sizes. they claim Sears carries their line in plus sizes. so i returned to the mall (!!!) to go to Sears Saturday.
Sears may carry the stuff, but they don't HAVE any. returned to motherhood to do the hormonal bitch thing. they say, they carry it, but not very much, and it sells through really fast.
my reply: "Do I LOOK like I have time to haunt Sears every five minutes to catch the plus-size clothes before they sell through?" Don't be sending hormonal women to Sears when you KNOW they're unlikely to have anything when they get there!
then i cried all the way to "once upon a child." where i found a shirt to cover my belly, with the skirt i bought last week, so i had something to wear to church. (hadn't been in a month, only partly b/c i had NOTHING TO WEAR!)
my dear sister is mailing me HER ugly maternity clothes so i can look awful but be covered. (her description) and i CAN get stuff online - but i don't have $$ to spend, or time to wait, to get SOMETHING on my belly. GR.
working on names
as soon as you tell people you're PG, they ask if you know the gender. (see separate rant on phrasing this wrong!) the second question is "have you thought of any names?"
well, no. you see, i thought i'd leave the birth certificate blank, and let the baby be known as "baby erdosy" throughout its life. or now that we do know, "baby girl erdosy." sheesh.
the problem with sharing names is that nobody ever likes your names. so they either have to lie, or offend you. mostly they choose the latter. and i'm equally guilty of telling people their names are terrible and they will doom their child for life to being a nose-picking bullied geek. (remember I-lish? sister LOVED that name)
so, here, we're thinking, we're arguing, and DH is caving as usual. JUST KIDDING! Tyler's name would have been emma rose, were he a girl, but i can't reuse a name. the day we found out, MIRIAM popped into my head. i don't think DH likes it a bit, but she can be Mirry or Mimi and it's pretty. plus a friend said she thinks it's a bit fey, where i was just associating it with old testament, and that makes me like it all the more! (i'm a pixie inside)
DH proposed BRIANNA, then realized he'd pulled it straight out of the Outlander books (http://www.dianagabaldon.com/). being as they're my fave of all time (maybe more than Harry Potter!), i'm perfectly at peace with this. but i like miriam better. #1 son was almost Brian, and i don't dislike the name.
with either of those, Angela would be the middle name. #1 son has been lobbying for a baby sister he can name Angel for YEARS.
we've also talked about Erica, and Katelen, and they're not off the list, either. we take a short list to the hospital. so now you know.
well, no. you see, i thought i'd leave the birth certificate blank, and let the baby be known as "baby erdosy" throughout its life. or now that we do know, "baby girl erdosy." sheesh.
the problem with sharing names is that nobody ever likes your names. so they either have to lie, or offend you. mostly they choose the latter. and i'm equally guilty of telling people their names are terrible and they will doom their child for life to being a nose-picking bullied geek. (remember I-lish? sister LOVED that name)
so, here, we're thinking, we're arguing, and DH is caving as usual. JUST KIDDING! Tyler's name would have been emma rose, were he a girl, but i can't reuse a name. the day we found out, MIRIAM popped into my head. i don't think DH likes it a bit, but she can be Mirry or Mimi and it's pretty. plus a friend said she thinks it's a bit fey, where i was just associating it with old testament, and that makes me like it all the more! (i'm a pixie inside)
DH proposed BRIANNA, then realized he'd pulled it straight out of the Outlander books (http://www.dianagabaldon.com/). being as they're my fave of all time (maybe more than Harry Potter!), i'm perfectly at peace with this. but i like miriam better. #1 son was almost Brian, and i don't dislike the name.
with either of those, Angela would be the middle name. #1 son has been lobbying for a baby sister he can name Angel for YEARS.
we've also talked about Erica, and Katelen, and they're not off the list, either. we take a short list to the hospital. so now you know.
thanks a lot, alana
You're The Dictionary!
by Merriam-Webster
You're one of those know-it-all types, with an amazing amount of
knowledge at your command. People really enjoy spending time with you in very short
spurts, but hanging out with you for a long time tends to bore them. When folks
really need an authority to refer to, however, you're the one they seek. You're an
exceptional speller and very well organized.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
alana put me in the mood...
BE AWARE!!!!
I don't how many of you shop at Sam's Club or Costco, but this may be useful to know. I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you!!
Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 23-year-old well-built guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs exposed. It's impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Sam's Club or Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you!!
While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!
I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.
I'm running out of purses....
(thanks to stu's friend kip!)
Friday, February 02, 2007
quote for the day
in the comics section today, almost good enough to rival my Brenda Ueland quote (see yellow under Q below) as "fave":
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow." --Jeff Valdez.
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow." --Jeff Valdez.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
february ABC poll
it's Feb. 1st and i'm 17w5d. got a new poll - kinda fun!
A - available or taken: taken
B - best friend: Alana always, Jessica, Sue
C - cake or pie: yes please!
D - drink of choice: mimosa - or OJ and ginger ale, lately
E - essential item you use everyday: just one? ok, deodorant
F - favorite color: today, pink
G - gummy bears or worms: worms
H - hometown: American Fork, Utah, lived there the longest
I - indulgence: McDonald's fries! mmm... now i need some!
J - January or February: February. we've adapted to the new year and work has picked up
K - kid's names: Gabriel Douglas, Tyler Garrett, and working on #3... DH thinks we can use the girl's name we picked for Tyler, but i can't. katelen? or miriam/mimi?
L - life incomplete without: family and friends
M - marriage date: April 29, 1995
N - number of siblings: there are six of us; i'm second, one older and one younger sister, 3 younger brothers
O - oranges or apples: apples today
P - phobias or fears: Spiders; used to be needles, too, until i had babies. epidurals cure that!
Q - favorite quote: "If I Did Not Wear Torn Pants, Orthopedic Shoes, Frantic Disheveled Hair; That Is To Say, If I Did Not Tone Down My Beauty, People Would Go Mad. Married Men Would Run Amuck." -Brenda Ueland
R - reason to smile: cute kids
S - season: spring! comes early in NC, i love it!
T - tag 3 people: stewbert, anyone else who stops by!
U - unknown fact about me: see 7 weird things below
V - veggie I don't like: hm... red/bell peppers
W - worst habit: sharing TMI
X - rays: many
Y - your favorite food: Cheese is a great answer!
Z - zodiac: Pisces - but i hate water
A - available or taken: taken
B - best friend: Alana always, Jessica, Sue
C - cake or pie: yes please!
D - drink of choice: mimosa - or OJ and ginger ale, lately
E - essential item you use everyday: just one? ok, deodorant
F - favorite color: today, pink
G - gummy bears or worms: worms
H - hometown: American Fork, Utah, lived there the longest
I - indulgence: McDonald's fries! mmm... now i need some!
J - January or February: February. we've adapted to the new year and work has picked up
K - kid's names: Gabriel Douglas, Tyler Garrett, and working on #3... DH thinks we can use the girl's name we picked for Tyler, but i can't. katelen? or miriam/mimi?
L - life incomplete without: family and friends
M - marriage date: April 29, 1995
N - number of siblings: there are six of us; i'm second, one older and one younger sister, 3 younger brothers
O - oranges or apples: apples today
P - phobias or fears: Spiders; used to be needles, too, until i had babies. epidurals cure that!
Q - favorite quote: "If I Did Not Wear Torn Pants, Orthopedic Shoes, Frantic Disheveled Hair; That Is To Say, If I Did Not Tone Down My Beauty, People Would Go Mad. Married Men Would Run Amuck." -Brenda Ueland
R - reason to smile: cute kids
S - season: spring! comes early in NC, i love it!
T - tag 3 people: stewbert, anyone else who stops by!
U - unknown fact about me: see 7 weird things below
V - veggie I don't like: hm... red/bell peppers
W - worst habit: sharing TMI
X - rays: many
Y - your favorite food: Cheese is a great answer!
Z - zodiac: Pisces - but i hate water
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
7 strange things
apparently, i'm it; but i don't know 7 people to pass this on to, and the one i do know, my sister stole when she tagged me! so if you want to participate, just comment so and we'll come see your answers!
THE RULES (for those who care): Each player of this game starts with the '7 weird things about you.' People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 7 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
just name 7 strange things about you.
1. birthmarks. i have a scattering of brown spots across my back just over my bum. now they have a bruise/tattoo in there with them since my car accident/back injury in 2002.
2. have you dated anyone outside your ethnicity? my first boyfriend was indian/japanese. very self-confident person, which is why he was my first boyfriend; nobody else asked me out. i'm just too smart AND hot, i terrified all the little boys i met before i was 18!
3. my friends and i used to "kidnap" boys (with their mothers' permission and cooperation) from their beds at dawn and drive up to the mountains (15 minutes) for a picnic breakfast (age 17/18). (think this was why i scared them?) piled 8 or 9 people into my tiny datsun F10.
4. i love to play the sims, make people who get to look the way they want with just mouse clicks, do what they want without responsibility crippling them, all different rules - it's a great fantasy world!
5. i also like to make avatar/dolls at elouai/candybar dollmaker. (click on my current doll to go to the site to make your own.) this freaks my friend alana out, which is why my doll is titled "how to freak alana out!"
6. i never go to the mall. went for maternity bras last week, first time in probably 2 years. i hit target and sam's at least once a week (target usually 2 or 3), and know all of the staff there. too well, according to my SIL.
7. i can't think of weird things about myself, but that's pretty much the definition of me; quirky! just found one - i love icyhot or similar products rubbed into my shoulders, but if it even TOUCHES my neck skin, i have to go wash it off IMMEDIATELY; it hurts!
tag! any viewers - you're it!
THE RULES (for those who care): Each player of this game starts with the '7 weird things about you.' People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 7 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
just name 7 strange things about you.
1. birthmarks. i have a scattering of brown spots across my back just over my bum. now they have a bruise/tattoo in there with them since my car accident/back injury in 2002.
2. have you dated anyone outside your ethnicity? my first boyfriend was indian/japanese. very self-confident person, which is why he was my first boyfriend; nobody else asked me out. i'm just too smart AND hot, i terrified all the little boys i met before i was 18!
3. my friends and i used to "kidnap" boys (with their mothers' permission and cooperation) from their beds at dawn and drive up to the mountains (15 minutes) for a picnic breakfast (age 17/18). (think this was why i scared them?) piled 8 or 9 people into my tiny datsun F10.
4. i love to play the sims, make people who get to look the way they want with just mouse clicks, do what they want without responsibility crippling them, all different rules - it's a great fantasy world!
5. i also like to make avatar/dolls at elouai/candybar dollmaker. (click on my current doll to go to the site to make your own.) this freaks my friend alana out, which is why my doll is titled "how to freak alana out!"
6. i never go to the mall. went for maternity bras last week, first time in probably 2 years. i hit target and sam's at least once a week (target usually 2 or 3), and know all of the staff there. too well, according to my SIL.
7. i can't think of weird things about myself, but that's pretty much the definition of me; quirky! just found one - i love icyhot or similar products rubbed into my shoulders, but if it even TOUCHES my neck skin, i have to go wash it off IMMEDIATELY; it hurts!
tag! any viewers - you're it!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
IT'S A GIRL!
we have a winner! we are officially having a baby girl! i'm so freaking excited!
baby is modest and wouldn't show the goods at first. the tech kept going back and checking. she finally moved her legs and we found no turtles there! (web term for boy genitals)
lucky me - i also have placenta previa. OB says 90% of the time they move on their own, so don't worry about C-section now. but pelvic rest until the next ultrasound - 9 or 10 weeks from now. (if it's still low, they'll do another, and then i think they schedule the C-section if it's still low that late.)
no worries anyway - i don't do labor without pitocin, so small chance of rupture. anyway - i'm having a girl baby, so i don't care if i have to have surgery to get her out!
everything is where it should be, so it's all good! may publish u/s photo later...
baby is modest and wouldn't show the goods at first. the tech kept going back and checking. she finally moved her legs and we found no turtles there! (web term for boy genitals)
lucky me - i also have placenta previa. OB says 90% of the time they move on their own, so don't worry about C-section now. but pelvic rest until the next ultrasound - 9 or 10 weeks from now. (if it's still low, they'll do another, and then i think they schedule the C-section if it's still low that late.)
no worries anyway - i don't do labor without pitocin, so small chance of rupture. anyway - i'm having a girl baby, so i don't care if i have to have surgery to get her out!
everything is where it should be, so it's all good! may publish u/s photo later...
Monday, January 29, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
hahahahaha
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?!"
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?!"
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
i love coffee.
i drink it every day. i tried to quit when i got KU, but my OB told me to stop trying to be SuperMom and that it is fine to drink in moderation. so i pulled my slack-ass off the couch and brewed a pot.
i buy coffee from Green Mountain Coffee Roasters (http://www.greenmountaincoffee.com/) - fair trade, organic, delicious coffee. and i'm happy every day when i brew it up or heat it up and drink it.
a few weeks ago, DH came home with a giant bag of bargain-brand coffee. he was just as pleased as a puppy with himself.
it's vile. it smells like cigarette ash.
but being another BrokeGirl (go to www.womenswallstreet.com/ for the REAL BG's articles), i put on my game face and drink it.
and i've discovered a trick to making cheap coffee palatable, if not "good." add a few drops of real vanilla extract to the cup. (in fact, if I'M brewing it, i add a couple of shots to the basket.) it cuts the bitterness right down to tolerable.
now my goal is to drink the nasty stuff as fast as possible so we can buy more of the good stuff. counting the days!
i drink it every day. i tried to quit when i got KU, but my OB told me to stop trying to be SuperMom and that it is fine to drink in moderation. so i pulled my slack-ass off the couch and brewed a pot.
i buy coffee from Green Mountain Coffee Roasters (http://www.greenmountaincoffee.com/) - fair trade, organic, delicious coffee. and i'm happy every day when i brew it up or heat it up and drink it.
a few weeks ago, DH came home with a giant bag of bargain-brand coffee. he was just as pleased as a puppy with himself.
it's vile. it smells like cigarette ash.
but being another BrokeGirl (go to www.womenswallstreet.com/ for the REAL BG's articles), i put on my game face and drink it.
and i've discovered a trick to making cheap coffee palatable, if not "good." add a few drops of real vanilla extract to the cup. (in fact, if I'M brewing it, i add a couple of shots to the basket.) it cuts the bitterness right down to tolerable.
now my goal is to drink the nasty stuff as fast as possible so we can buy more of the good stuff. counting the days!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
PMP 1/24
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she was scared of flying.
No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.
"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?"
Again he went through his tables.
"Extremely remote," he said. "About one in a billion."
Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office.
And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with her.
No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.
"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?"
Again he went through his tables.
"Extremely remote," he said. "About one in a billion."
Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office.
And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with her.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
need a laugh!
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I was in town and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I walked up to him and said, "How about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So, I called him a Terrorist.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. I came into town on the park-n-ride bus and the car had a "Hillary for President" bumper sticker.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important at my age.
Well, for example, the other day I was in town and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I walked up to him and said, "How about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So, I called him a Terrorist.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. I came into town on the park-n-ride bus and the car had a "Hillary for President" bumper sticker.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important at my age.
Monday update (on Tuesday)
(1/22) i've been negligent for a few weeks, busy Monday mornings!
16w2d
PROS: feeling very comfortable as far as pregnancy goes. no longer in first trimester coma. only EIGHT (now SEVEN) days until big ultrasound, VERY excited. and the things that really matter are keeping up.
CONS: still waiting on the 2nd tri energy! i've had a cold (or two or three) for going on 6 weeks now. DH is worn out taking care of the family while i sleep... haven't even started getting ready for baby - haven't gotten Christmas decor down, nobody has any energy! (but the things that REALLY matter are being kept up.) can't wait to feel WELL.
(1/23) i got some antibiotics for strep throat today, so let's all hope this is the end of the run of sickness and the beginning of feeling triffic!
#2 son had a minor procedure this morning to remove a splinter that went all the way under his thumbnail to the back of it. he was very brave. of course, i didn't tell him there would be a needle, and i didn't let him watch. then we both went for a coke for our nervous tummies.
the van broke down again last week, but apparently it only needed a stern talking-to and a time-out. the mechanic couldn't find the problem. it would click once, then start. it did this once for the mechanic, then straightened up and stopped giving me grief! i'm very relieved as a new starter is NOT in the budget! starting an emergency fund IS - and quite necessary, as i'll have several big bills with baby, starting in march.
enough news - let me go find a good joke for today!
16w2d
PROS: feeling very comfortable as far as pregnancy goes. no longer in first trimester coma. only EIGHT (now SEVEN) days until big ultrasound, VERY excited. and the things that really matter are keeping up.
CONS: still waiting on the 2nd tri energy! i've had a cold (or two or three) for going on 6 weeks now. DH is worn out taking care of the family while i sleep... haven't even started getting ready for baby - haven't gotten Christmas decor down, nobody has any energy! (but the things that REALLY matter are being kept up.) can't wait to feel WELL.
(1/23) i got some antibiotics for strep throat today, so let's all hope this is the end of the run of sickness and the beginning of feeling triffic!
#2 son had a minor procedure this morning to remove a splinter that went all the way under his thumbnail to the back of it. he was very brave. of course, i didn't tell him there would be a needle, and i didn't let him watch. then we both went for a coke for our nervous tummies.
the van broke down again last week, but apparently it only needed a stern talking-to and a time-out. the mechanic couldn't find the problem. it would click once, then start. it did this once for the mechanic, then straightened up and stopped giving me grief! i'm very relieved as a new starter is NOT in the budget! starting an emergency fund IS - and quite necessary, as i'll have several big bills with baby, starting in march.
enough news - let me go find a good joke for today!
Friday, January 19, 2007
red lifesavers
just a stray thought...
so many people love red flavored candy etc. and i can't stand it most of the time. i've ALWAYS hated cherry-flavored anything - i only like FRESH cherries. no cherry pie for this girl - yuck!
and it was a few years ago that i figured out why. this is one of my BEST "most embarrassing" stories (i'll tell you about the foreign exchange student another day).
i was probably 8 or 9. the dentist had given mom fluoride pills b/c our water wasn't fluoridated. she put them up on the refrigerator. they were TINY little pink pills, and i REALLY liked how they tasted. they were "raspberry" flavored (but didn't affect my appetite for berries, go figure!).
so, one day, i took it upon myself to climb up on the counter, get those pills, and ate a handful. it's amazing i didn't poison myself. well, i ate about half, then i started feeling sick and put the rest back. but i must've eaten 20 or more. and didn't tell mom b/c i didn't want to get in trouble. (an ER visit would have ensued, i realize in retrospect.)
after that i never liked cherry flavoring. i bet i wouldn't like that fake raspberry flavor either, but these days if it's raspberry flavored, it's REAL.
now i'm nauseous. i hope you appreciate my sacrifice for my blog!
so many people love red flavored candy etc. and i can't stand it most of the time. i've ALWAYS hated cherry-flavored anything - i only like FRESH cherries. no cherry pie for this girl - yuck!
and it was a few years ago that i figured out why. this is one of my BEST "most embarrassing" stories (i'll tell you about the foreign exchange student another day).
i was probably 8 or 9. the dentist had given mom fluoride pills b/c our water wasn't fluoridated. she put them up on the refrigerator. they were TINY little pink pills, and i REALLY liked how they tasted. they were "raspberry" flavored (but didn't affect my appetite for berries, go figure!).
so, one day, i took it upon myself to climb up on the counter, get those pills, and ate a handful. it's amazing i didn't poison myself. well, i ate about half, then i started feeling sick and put the rest back. but i must've eaten 20 or more. and didn't tell mom b/c i didn't want to get in trouble. (an ER visit would have ensued, i realize in retrospect.)
after that i never liked cherry flavoring. i bet i wouldn't like that fake raspberry flavor either, but these days if it's raspberry flavored, it's REAL.
now i'm nauseous. i hope you appreciate my sacrifice for my blog!
NEW survey!
Tired of those same old "55 questions about me" surveys? Well here are 55 I guarantee you've never answered.
1. Is your second toe longer than your first? yes
2. Do you have a favorite type of pen? any gel ink that doesn't dry out when it's left uncapped.
3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing? i'm too lazy to go look in my planner
4. What color are your toenails usually? blank
5. What was the last thing you highlighted? something for a kid's homework assignment
6. What color are your bedroom curtains? they're a lovely green pattern, but i haven't hemmed them OR hung them.
7. What color are the seats in your car? Gray
8. Have you ever had a black and white cat? No, black ones as a kid; one gray and one orange tiger now.
9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on? a bill
10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming? um, no
11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time? don't usually use ATM, use my debit card and get cash back. last time ATM was for a road trip! (thanksgiving)
12. Who is the last baby that you held? church friends, at church (!)
13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? not personally
14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste? Ew *nose wrinkle*
15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago? same one I drive today
15. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators. don't care about either, but i prefer a gator to a hurricane.
(where's #16? alana!)
17. Last time you went to Six Flags? um, in 1990.
18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house? it came with wallpaper
19. Closest thing to you that is yellow: a postit, or my electronic yahtzee (it's kinda gold/orange)
20. Last person to give you a business card? i forget, but i got one recently
21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to? a bill
22. Closest framed picture to you? me holding #2 as a newborn with #1 snuggled up on my other side looking a bit lost and confused.
23. Last time you had someone cook for you? DH last night!
24. Have you ever applied for welfare? Nope
25. How many emails do you have? LFI no
26. Last time you received flowers? my boys brought some in a couple of days ago, before the weather went COLD.
27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman? i don't like the way that question was phrased, but i think committed partners should be allowed to have a ceremony. sexual orientation doesn't affect our commitment OR lack thereof.
(where's 28? ALANA!)
29. Do you play air guitar? not really
30. Do you take anything in your coffee? one equal and lots of cream in a double cup
31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines? don't think so
32. What was/is your high school's mascot? Caveman!
33. Last person you spoke to from high school? a sibling, i'm sure
34. Last time you used hand sanitizer? several weeks ... we use it when we go to movies all the time, beats standing in line or missing the movie, but we've been TOO BROKE FOR MOVIES! (i know, sacrilege!)
35. Would you like to learn to play the drums? sure
36. What color are the blinds in your living room? white lace
37. What is in your inbox at work? a report waiting to be typed ... and waiting, and waiting
38. Last thing you read in the newspaper? the comix and/or quote du jour
39. What was the last pageant you attended? a cousin's little miss, prob.
40. What is the last place you bought pizza from? Papa John's!
41. Have you ever worn a crown? tiaras count, wore one a few years ago for a girls' night out.
42. What is the last thing you stapled? bills
43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi? maybe - hated it!
44. Are you ticklish? if you have to ask you don't know me!
45. Last time you saw fireworks? couple of 7/4's ago
46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut? far too long ... last month, i think
47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call? a lady from the lawyer's office (debt restructuring)
48. Last time you parked under a carport? i may never have... well, when i was 17/18 we had one, so it might just be that long.
49. Do you have a black dog? no dogs allowed
50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge? heck yeah! remember the hormones?
51. Are you an aunt or uncle? i'm an auntie
52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of? possibly Orlando Bloom, but in Zorro #1 Antonio Banderas looked a lot like him... the mask shows all!
53. Last time you saw a semi truck? probably at lunch
54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe? who?
55. Do you have a little black dress? i stopped buying all-black 15 years ago. but i may have one still on a hanger somewhere that doesn't come close to fitting...
1. Is your second toe longer than your first? yes
2. Do you have a favorite type of pen? any gel ink that doesn't dry out when it's left uncapped.
3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing? i'm too lazy to go look in my planner
4. What color are your toenails usually? blank
5. What was the last thing you highlighted? something for a kid's homework assignment
6. What color are your bedroom curtains? they're a lovely green pattern, but i haven't hemmed them OR hung them.
7. What color are the seats in your car? Gray
8. Have you ever had a black and white cat? No, black ones as a kid; one gray and one orange tiger now.
9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on? a bill
10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming? um, no
11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time? don't usually use ATM, use my debit card and get cash back. last time ATM was for a road trip! (thanksgiving)
12. Who is the last baby that you held? church friends, at church (!)
13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? not personally
14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste? Ew *nose wrinkle*
15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago? same one I drive today
15. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators. don't care about either, but i prefer a gator to a hurricane.
(where's #16? alana!)
17. Last time you went to Six Flags? um, in 1990.
18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house? it came with wallpaper
19. Closest thing to you that is yellow: a postit, or my electronic yahtzee (it's kinda gold/orange)
20. Last person to give you a business card? i forget, but i got one recently
21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to? a bill
22. Closest framed picture to you? me holding #2 as a newborn with #1 snuggled up on my other side looking a bit lost and confused.
23. Last time you had someone cook for you? DH last night!
24. Have you ever applied for welfare? Nope
25. How many emails do you have? LFI no
26. Last time you received flowers? my boys brought some in a couple of days ago, before the weather went COLD.
27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman? i don't like the way that question was phrased, but i think committed partners should be allowed to have a ceremony. sexual orientation doesn't affect our commitment OR lack thereof.
(where's 28? ALANA!)
29. Do you play air guitar? not really
30. Do you take anything in your coffee? one equal and lots of cream in a double cup
31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines? don't think so
32. What was/is your high school's mascot? Caveman!
33. Last person you spoke to from high school? a sibling, i'm sure
34. Last time you used hand sanitizer? several weeks ... we use it when we go to movies all the time, beats standing in line or missing the movie, but we've been TOO BROKE FOR MOVIES! (i know, sacrilege!)
35. Would you like to learn to play the drums? sure
36. What color are the blinds in your living room? white lace
37. What is in your inbox at work? a report waiting to be typed ... and waiting, and waiting
38. Last thing you read in the newspaper? the comix and/or quote du jour
39. What was the last pageant you attended? a cousin's little miss, prob.
40. What is the last place you bought pizza from? Papa John's!
41. Have you ever worn a crown? tiaras count, wore one a few years ago for a girls' night out.
42. What is the last thing you stapled? bills
43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi? maybe - hated it!
44. Are you ticklish? if you have to ask you don't know me!
45. Last time you saw fireworks? couple of 7/4's ago
46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut? far too long ... last month, i think
47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call? a lady from the lawyer's office (debt restructuring)
48. Last time you parked under a carport? i may never have... well, when i was 17/18 we had one, so it might just be that long.
49. Do you have a black dog? no dogs allowed
50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge? heck yeah! remember the hormones?
51. Are you an aunt or uncle? i'm an auntie
52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of? possibly Orlando Bloom, but in Zorro #1 Antonio Banderas looked a lot like him... the mask shows all!
53. Last time you saw a semi truck? probably at lunch
54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe? who?
55. Do you have a little black dress? i stopped buying all-black 15 years ago. but i may have one still on a hanger somewhere that doesn't come close to fitting...
LOL 1/19
A drunk man smelling of booze sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the manturned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
ROFLMAO!
After a few minutes the manturned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
ROFLMAO!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
i can't believe i just did this.
hormone head strikes again...
we're in NC, and we've had balmy weather up until now. sleet/freezing rain forecast for this morning.
so i get up and check the news station's website, closings. we live in forsyth county; i see "forsyth" and "opens at 10 a.m."
so i put my kids back to bed and ignored them.
the bus just went up the road. DH comes in and says what-up??? then i remember - it's "winston-salem/forsyth county schools." check the website. we're on time; it's a private school, "forsyth country day school," that's starting at 10.
I could just cry. they have to get ready in 10 minutes b/c #2 has testing this week, HAS to be there. and _I_ made him go back to bed! i feel so bad. somebody hug me!
we're in NC, and we've had balmy weather up until now. sleet/freezing rain forecast for this morning.
so i get up and check the news station's website, closings. we live in forsyth county; i see "forsyth" and "opens at 10 a.m."
so i put my kids back to bed and ignored them.
the bus just went up the road. DH comes in and says what-up??? then i remember - it's "winston-salem/forsyth county schools." check the website. we're on time; it's a private school, "forsyth country day school," that's starting at 10.
I could just cry. they have to get ready in 10 minutes b/c #2 has testing this week, HAS to be there. and _I_ made him go back to bed! i feel so bad. somebody hug me!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
weird dreams
here's a weirdy: we've been watching friends reruns, and phoebe's pregnant with the triplets.
last night i dreamed that the triplets were for a lady in our church (who has two daughters, 7 and 9, and no need for triplets!). she couldn't pick them up as soon as they were born, so my mom and i were watching them (mom and i live 3000 miles apart).
it was actually a really neat experience, playing with those babies, and for some reason they could crawl and talk a little and try to walk (but they were newborns, just acting 9 months old or something). they were all different sizes, too. we really enjoyed playing with them and taking care of them.
maybe i've been worried about all the work involved in new babies, and needed to remember all the rewarding parts, the play and the learning. whatever, last night i enjoyed my dreams!
anyone else having freaky dreams?
last night i dreamed that the triplets were for a lady in our church (who has two daughters, 7 and 9, and no need for triplets!). she couldn't pick them up as soon as they were born, so my mom and i were watching them (mom and i live 3000 miles apart).
it was actually a really neat experience, playing with those babies, and for some reason they could crawl and talk a little and try to walk (but they were newborns, just acting 9 months old or something). they were all different sizes, too. we really enjoyed playing with them and taking care of them.
maybe i've been worried about all the work involved in new babies, and needed to remember all the rewarding parts, the play and the learning. whatever, last night i enjoyed my dreams!
anyone else having freaky dreams?
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
time to laugh!
A mother calls 911, very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room; the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.
Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid.
The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.
Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
thank goodness for a new survey!
i hope the answers will be slightly more interesting than last time.
*What do you drink with dinner? milk or water
*What do you dip a chicken nugget in? ketchup. the best chicken fingers are the ones i make, but i haven't had time or energy in TOO long. and as alana said - buffalo wings should ONLY be dipped in bleu cheese (accompanied by celery)
*What is your favorite type of food/cuisine? potato
*What movies could you watch over and over and still love? *giggle/snort* well, i have a shelf full of them... love me some musicals, Dirty Dancing, Charlie's Angels, Legally Blond ...
*Were you in sports in high school? no, but i ran track in 7th grade
*Were you a boy/girl scout? i WANTED to be a Boy Scout, but they said No. even though explorers now include girls, the troops that are sponsored by Mormons won't. i finally did become one by WORKING FOR THEM - i was an official member of the BSA! i did do Girl Scouts for a while at age 11/12, but they were boring, except for the cookies. we did go to the circus!
*When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? recently - something included with customer service request or something. i write notes to teachers on paper all the time, and use kid mail!
*Ever gotten a speeding ticket? well, yeah. new license, cop pulled me over, said did you know you were going 75? (limit was 55) gave him my wide-eyed innocent look and said no... inside was thinking 'thank goodness i just slowed down from 95!'
*Favorite kind of sandwich? TOMATO! love me a ham&cheese, or grilled, or tomato and cheese, but given i had to get up at 10 pm last night for a tomato sandwich, i'll have to go with that.
*Best thing to eat for breakfast? cinnabon, but i don't dare.
*What is your usual bedtime? 8/830 to bed, lights out by 10 if i behave
*Are you lazy? more than i want to admit, but less than certain people think
*What's your favorite mixed drink? anything frozen (that doesn't contain tequila)
*When you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween? a princess or a witch.
*Do you read the newspaper? comics, local stuff
*How many languages can you speak? English! i can muddle through in french; i have a little spanish, and i can say disgusting things in japanese.
*Do you have any magazine subscriptions? far too many; Entertainment Weekly is the only one i always keep!
*Is Fabio ugly? nope. he was too hot for too long to be ugly.
*Which are better, Legos or Lincoln Logs? tough one. in the hands of a creative person, either! i didn't have lincoln logs so i guess i think they're better!
*Red wine or white wine? usually white; champagne is best!
*Are you stubborn? MIL and #2 son are the only ones MORE stubborn
*Who is better... Leno or Letterman? i go to bed too early to know anymore, but i would vote for letterman
*Watch a soap opera? not now; did as a teen, again in office sitch where everyone watched them at lunch together.
*Afraid of heights? not particularly, just sensibly.
*Sing in the car? radio doesn't work, it's the only way to have music!
*Dance in the shower? no, but i sing in the shower
*Dance in the car? rarely; radio has been out for over a year
*Ever used a gun? Water, air guns only.
*Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Christmas 2004.
*Are musicals cheesy? did you see my reply to fave movies? i still love musicals - i watch WAY too much Disney Channel.
*Is Christmas stressful? well, yeah, but worth it.
*Ever eat a pierogie? as often as possible. #1 son's nickname was a little pierogie! did YOU ever eat gwumke?
*Favorite type of fruit pie? peach, if we're talking real pie. jumbleberry, key lime, or lemon meringue. sweet potato counts, right? we have that all the time.
*Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? clown, Price is Right girl
*Do you believe in ghosts? not as such; spirits more so
*Ever have a Deja vu feeling? Ever have a Deja Vu feeling? (i just can't improve on that)
*Take a vitamin daily? i take a handful of shi* daily, there's usually a vitamin in there, and an omega-3 supplement.
*Wear slippers? no
*Wear a bath robe? no
*What do you wear to bed? nightgown/nightshirt
*First concert? U2 Achtung Baby
*Any tattoos? nope; if i got one, it would be a pixie on my ankle
*Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? Target!
*Nike or Adidas? Skechers
*Fritos or Cheetos? usually Fritos
*Corn nuts or sunflowers seeds? corn nuts previously, but neither now
*Ever heard of "gorp"? think so - trail mix?
*Ever take dance lessons? before wedding, DH and i did. didn't help us not to shuffle around for "our" dance, and i bitched at him the whole time we were in class, so doubt i could ever get him to do it again. (he just wouldn't LEAD!)
*Is there a profession that you picture your perfect spouse to have? movie star, of course (yeah, there's a few candidates picked out)
*Can you curl your tongue? mhm
*Ever won a spelling bee? 4th grade classroom, 7th grade classroom; came in 2nd in middle school in 7th grade.
*Have you ever cried because you were so happy? kids do that to me
*5 words that describe you? intense, take-charge, smarty-pants, childlike, crafty
*Own any record albums? once i had the Pet Shop Boys... i won it from the radio station
*Own a record player? nope.
*Regularly burn incense? scented candles count?
*Ever been in love? far too often!
*Who would you really like to see in concert? the Beatles
*Hot tea or iced tea? usually iced, hot if i'm sick and congested
*Favorite kind of cookie? don't make me choose... CostCo Chocolate Chip
*Can you swim well? i barely swim
*Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose? uh, yeah
*Ever had braces or a mouth piece? no - but i have a night guard for grinding teeth into
*Are you artistic? more crafty
*Are you patient? more so since having babies than i ever thought possible, but not enough for their preferences!
*DJ or band, at a wedding? we had a DJ; idano which i prefer
*Ever won a contest? once or twice, little things, but exciting!
*Have plastic surgery? had a plastic surgeon remove a mole; does that count?
*Which are better, black or green olives? black by themselves, but this "carolina caviar," which is really like black-eyed pea salsa, has green olives in it and is yummy (local supermarket makes it in the deli).
*Can you knit or crochet? crochet, square things only
*Best room for a fireplace? outside
*What do you drink with dinner? milk or water
*What do you dip a chicken nugget in? ketchup. the best chicken fingers are the ones i make, but i haven't had time or energy in TOO long. and as alana said - buffalo wings should ONLY be dipped in bleu cheese (accompanied by celery)
*What is your favorite type of food/cuisine? potato
*What movies could you watch over and over and still love? *giggle/snort* well, i have a shelf full of them... love me some musicals, Dirty Dancing, Charlie's Angels, Legally Blond ...
*Were you in sports in high school? no, but i ran track in 7th grade
*Were you a boy/girl scout? i WANTED to be a Boy Scout, but they said No. even though explorers now include girls, the troops that are sponsored by Mormons won't. i finally did become one by WORKING FOR THEM - i was an official member of the BSA! i did do Girl Scouts for a while at age 11/12, but they were boring, except for the cookies. we did go to the circus!
*When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? recently - something included with customer service request or something. i write notes to teachers on paper all the time, and use kid mail!
*Ever gotten a speeding ticket? well, yeah. new license, cop pulled me over, said did you know you were going 75? (limit was 55) gave him my wide-eyed innocent look and said no... inside was thinking 'thank goodness i just slowed down from 95!'
*Favorite kind of sandwich? TOMATO! love me a ham&cheese, or grilled, or tomato and cheese, but given i had to get up at 10 pm last night for a tomato sandwich, i'll have to go with that.
*Best thing to eat for breakfast? cinnabon, but i don't dare.
*What is your usual bedtime? 8/830 to bed, lights out by 10 if i behave
*Are you lazy? more than i want to admit, but less than certain people think
*What's your favorite mixed drink? anything frozen (that doesn't contain tequila)
*When you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween? a princess or a witch.
*Do you read the newspaper? comics, local stuff
*How many languages can you speak? English! i can muddle through in french; i have a little spanish, and i can say disgusting things in japanese.
*Do you have any magazine subscriptions? far too many; Entertainment Weekly is the only one i always keep!
*Is Fabio ugly? nope. he was too hot for too long to be ugly.
*Which are better, Legos or Lincoln Logs? tough one. in the hands of a creative person, either! i didn't have lincoln logs so i guess i think they're better!
*Red wine or white wine? usually white; champagne is best!
*Are you stubborn? MIL and #2 son are the only ones MORE stubborn
*Who is better... Leno or Letterman? i go to bed too early to know anymore, but i would vote for letterman
*Watch a soap opera? not now; did as a teen, again in office sitch where everyone watched them at lunch together.
*Afraid of heights? not particularly, just sensibly.
*Sing in the car? radio doesn't work, it's the only way to have music!
*Dance in the shower? no, but i sing in the shower
*Dance in the car? rarely; radio has been out for over a year
*Ever used a gun? Water, air guns only.
*Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Christmas 2004.
*Are musicals cheesy? did you see my reply to fave movies? i still love musicals - i watch WAY too much Disney Channel.
*Is Christmas stressful? well, yeah, but worth it.
*Ever eat a pierogie? as often as possible. #1 son's nickname was a little pierogie! did YOU ever eat gwumke?
*Favorite type of fruit pie? peach, if we're talking real pie. jumbleberry, key lime, or lemon meringue. sweet potato counts, right? we have that all the time.
*Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? clown, Price is Right girl
*Do you believe in ghosts? not as such; spirits more so
*Ever have a Deja vu feeling? Ever have a Deja Vu feeling? (i just can't improve on that)
*Take a vitamin daily? i take a handful of shi* daily, there's usually a vitamin in there, and an omega-3 supplement.
*Wear slippers? no
*Wear a bath robe? no
*What do you wear to bed? nightgown/nightshirt
*First concert? U2 Achtung Baby
*Any tattoos? nope; if i got one, it would be a pixie on my ankle
*Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? Target!
*Nike or Adidas? Skechers
*Fritos or Cheetos? usually Fritos
*Corn nuts or sunflowers seeds? corn nuts previously, but neither now
*Ever heard of "gorp"? think so - trail mix?
*Ever take dance lessons? before wedding, DH and i did. didn't help us not to shuffle around for "our" dance, and i bitched at him the whole time we were in class, so doubt i could ever get him to do it again. (he just wouldn't LEAD!)
*Is there a profession that you picture your perfect spouse to have? movie star, of course (yeah, there's a few candidates picked out)
*Can you curl your tongue? mhm
*Ever won a spelling bee? 4th grade classroom, 7th grade classroom; came in 2nd in middle school in 7th grade.
*Have you ever cried because you were so happy? kids do that to me
*5 words that describe you? intense, take-charge, smarty-pants, childlike, crafty
*Own any record albums? once i had the Pet Shop Boys... i won it from the radio station
*Own a record player? nope.
*Regularly burn incense? scented candles count?
*Ever been in love? far too often!
*Who would you really like to see in concert? the Beatles
*Hot tea or iced tea? usually iced, hot if i'm sick and congested
*Favorite kind of cookie? don't make me choose... CostCo Chocolate Chip
*Can you swim well? i barely swim
*Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose? uh, yeah
*Ever had braces or a mouth piece? no - but i have a night guard for grinding teeth into
*Are you artistic? more crafty
*Are you patient? more so since having babies than i ever thought possible, but not enough for their preferences!
*DJ or band, at a wedding? we had a DJ; idano which i prefer
*Ever won a contest? once or twice, little things, but exciting!
*Have plastic surgery? had a plastic surgeon remove a mole; does that count?
*Which are better, black or green olives? black by themselves, but this "carolina caviar," which is really like black-eyed pea salsa, has green olives in it and is yummy (local supermarket makes it in the deli).
*Can you knit or crochet? crochet, square things only
*Best room for a fireplace? outside
daily giggle 1/11
One day a professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept with his pre-med students. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information?"
"To save lives," the professor responded quickly, and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
**********
this one ALWAYS makes me laugh. :D
"To save lives," the professor responded quickly, and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
**********
this one ALWAYS makes me laugh. :D
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
14w4d update
boobies went up another size today (see previous bra rants)!. GR!
only 20 more days until we find out gender of baby-to-be!
only 20 more days until we find out gender of baby-to-be!
joke du jour 1/10
A huge corporation recently hired several cannibals.
"You are all part of our team now", said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of our employees."
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later the HR rep called them together and remarked, "You're all working very hard and we're satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads 'No.' After the HR rep had left the room, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "OK - which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"
A hand rose hesitantly.
"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers, and no one noticed anything. But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!!!"
"You are all part of our team now", said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of our employees."
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later the HR rep called them together and remarked, "You're all working very hard and we're satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads 'No.' After the HR rep had left the room, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "OK - which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"
A hand rose hesitantly.
"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers, and no one noticed anything. But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!!!"
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
don't make me laugh!
still giggling...
i am still recovering from this evil cold. i just went to print something, fell over my feet to put paper in the tray, and started giggling; whereupon i started choking and coughing and bringing up yeuk.
don't make me laugh! it results in yeuk! and i am one CLUMSY preggo already. *pout*
i am still recovering from this evil cold. i just went to print something, fell over my feet to put paper in the tray, and started giggling; whereupon i started choking and coughing and bringing up yeuk.
don't make me laugh! it results in yeuk! and i am one CLUMSY preggo already. *pout*
Saturday, January 06, 2007
enjoying new blogger!
this is so cool. i got to add links, which are some of my favorite places to visit daily or at least more than once a week. and getting to the posting page is faster. why wouldn't you have a blog of your own?
possibly because work beckons and we all must heed its summons? well, i think fast and type fast, so you get the real me. and you get it faster now with the "new" blogger! having a grand old time!
**************
update on week 14: i've got energy back! the evil cold is leaving, slowly and reluctantly, but definitely leaving. not really feeling pregnant, but the long list of things that must be done before baby comes is no longer quite as intimidating as it was during the first-trimester coma! and best of all: at visit this week, scheduled ultrasound for 1/30! only 24 more days until we know the gender of our newest arrival-to-be! can't wait!
possibly because work beckons and we all must heed its summons? well, i think fast and type fast, so you get the real me. and you get it faster now with the "new" blogger! having a grand old time!
**************
update on week 14: i've got energy back! the evil cold is leaving, slowly and reluctantly, but definitely leaving. not really feeling pregnant, but the long list of things that must be done before baby comes is no longer quite as intimidating as it was during the first-trimester coma! and best of all: at visit this week, scheduled ultrasound for 1/30! only 24 more days until we know the gender of our newest arrival-to-be! can't wait!
Friday, January 05, 2007
another in the same theme
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy toget some medication. When she got back to her car, she found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her help.
Within five minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?"
The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with tears cried out loud,"Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a professional!"
**********
This and the grocery joke are hilarious, partly because you could see the germ of truth in their reactions! and the Hand of God is something we can't say didn't do these things. so laugh, because they're funny! and pray, because we want to stay on His good side.
As Damon Wayans said, when asked if there was anything he WOULDN'T crack jokes about (such as handicapped people, etc.), he said "I don't make any God jokes, because I don't want God making any Damon Wayans jokes!" I love that attitude.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her help.
Within five minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?"
The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with tears cried out loud,"Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a professional!"
**********
This and the grocery joke are hilarious, partly because you could see the germ of truth in their reactions! and the Hand of God is something we can't say didn't do these things. so laugh, because they're funny! and pray, because we want to stay on His good side.
As Damon Wayans said, when asked if there was anything he WOULDN'T crack jokes about (such as handicapped people, etc.), he said "I don't make any God jokes, because I don't want God making any Damon Wayans jokes!" I love that attitude.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
non sequitur
i can't believe i've had a blog for two years! if you read my archived first entries, they were saved thoughts i'd had about "if i had a blog." i think they're some of my funniest ones (at least that aren't jokes)!
give me a comment to help me celebrate my two years with blogger! and i've just upgraded to google, so looking forward to the next two years! (i couldn't get through my day without google.)
give me a comment to help me celebrate my two years with blogger! and i've just upgraded to google, so looking forward to the next two years! (i couldn't get through my day without google.)
a giggle a day 1/4
Every morning, a woman stood on her porch and shouted "Praise the Lord!"
Every morning, the atheist in the house across from her shouted back, "There is no Lord!"
One day, when the woman is out on her porch she says, "Dear God, I'm hungry. Please send me groceries."
The next day, when she goes out to her porch, she sees a huge bag of groceries on her doorstep. "Praise the Lord!" she shouts.
"Aha!" says the neighbour, stepping out from the bushes. "This is proof that there's no God: I brought those groceries myself."
"Praise the Lord!" says the woman again. "Not only did the Lord send the groceries, he made the devil pay for them."
Every morning, the atheist in the house across from her shouted back, "There is no Lord!"
One day, when the woman is out on her porch she says, "Dear God, I'm hungry. Please send me groceries."
The next day, when she goes out to her porch, she sees a huge bag of groceries on her doorstep. "Praise the Lord!" she shouts.
"Aha!" says the neighbour, stepping out from the bushes. "This is proof that there's no God: I brought those groceries myself."
"Praise the Lord!" says the woman again. "Not only did the Lord send the groceries, he made the devil pay for them."
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
joke du jour 1/2/07
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies. When they get to meet their maker, because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each before they enter Heaven.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what their wish is. "I want to be gorgeous." So God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again."
So, the next time you are last in line...smile!
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