Friday, June 04, 2010

just when you thought it was safe...

to breathe again...

#1 son is turning 13 sunday. somehow i've managed to sublimate this knowledge until today. i'm not ready, and i'm not going to BE ready. it just doesn't seem possible.

he hasn't really HIT puberty yet; he gets growing pains and whatnot and has a little peach fuzz on his lip, a tiny bit more in the pits, and some smallish pimples. if he were 6 inches taller than me it would be a little easier to swallow, somehow, i think? his dad didn't really hit his growth until 16, though, so it's unlikely to hit any time soon.

my inappropriate thought when he mentioned some peach fuzz was: are you getting it down south too? then my mommy mind said "WAH! my baby is hitting milestones that _I_ _CAN'T_ _WITNESS_!_!_!_"

you know, it isn't that i WANT to see those changes so much as that he's changing in ways i CAN'T observe. he's my baby, he isn't supposed to grow up! he still has uber-fair skin and thinking about it sprouting hairs is just WRONG! when he starts to shave i will cry and cry.

i know, they're supposed to grow up and be independent. watching it HAPPEN is hard.

Thursday, June 03, 2010


where did May go?

Life is, as usual, overwhelming. Tell stories about it? I barely have time to live it!

our horrible rental house has a FORTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD AIR CONDITIONER. i know, i can barely count that high. it's been repaired twice this year already, and apparently has a coolant leak. yippee. the cheap-shit landlord had better fix it this time, is all i can say.

too hot to breathe = time to go out to dinner! so we did last night. we sat at a booth with lolly on a booster in a chair at the end of the table. she's a very self-possessed almost-3-year-old and we didn't think twice about it.

until she leaned over a little bit in my direction, which threw the thing off-balance, and fell HEAD-FIRST toward the floor.

my left arm shot out, wrapped around her belly, and yanked upward JUST before her head made contact. it was so close i expected her to cry; i really didn't think i had made it in time. all rich had time to do was say "oh, shit." i'm still kinda waiting for the panic and pain.

i practically got a round of applause. somehow, everybody sitting near us happened to be looking our way at the moment, and nobody else could believe it either. my shoulder may be strained, but my baby is in one piece.

with adrenaline pumping, i looked up and said "that's a once-in-a-lifetime catch!" would've made the highlights reel if i were on a reality show and had a camera following me 24/7. :D

and it's a story to be preserved. lolly doesn't remember things much but i asked her "who caught you last night?" and she said "YOU!" she actually appreciates it AND appears to remember it.

she's very stoked for her birthday. she wants angels.