old men

DH is officially 50 today! we have big celebrations planned and fun surprises, so stay tuned because i'll blog about them AFTER the event - so i can include his reactions!

if you gotta get old, you might as well do it with a BANG!

AGE scarf

i've blogged before about A Giveaway Every Day and what fun stuff they have. LOTS of stuff for babies, less often great stuff for mommies, but today is a gawgeous pashmina that i NEED extra entries for. Go here to see today's giveaway!

follow them on Google Reader if you like them - then you get to see the giveaways every day, and pick which ones to enter!

scared enough?

last week, little princess locked us out of the downstairs bathroom. the doors have locks with holes in the back side of the doorknob, but they're not pop-locks, and we couldn't unlock it. DH was in philadelphia and we just waited for him to come home. he had to take the knob apart, and we learned that a slim slot-head screwdriver would work great as a key. and we planned to go buy one to keep around.

today, i was working hard, and the kids kept slamming doors and shouting, and i asked WHAT IS GOING ON???!!!???

LaLa locked herself in her room and we're trying to get her out. Is she scared? i ask? VERY, they reply. then why didn't you ask me for HELP??!!??!! um, we thought you'd just know, because we were shouting. while i had a headset on - i can certainly tell they're shouting, but not WHAT they're SAYING!

ahem. so i disassembled the doorknob and let the frightened child out. is she traumatized? probably. will she do it again?

will she do it again? i don't even want to finish that thought. but i reassembled her doorknob with the lock on the OUTSIDE. and we'll HOPE she's scared enough. and we found a screwdriver that fits in the locks.

our house in lewisville, which we lived in for 6 years, starting over 7 years ago, had a bedroom with the doorknob lock on the outside, and we could NEVER FIGURE OUT WHY. now we know.

subtext

if you haven't read my header/subheader in a while, NOW would be a good time. because my posts today are mostly inappropriate. but they WILL make you laugh!

you don't want to know

men should avert their eyes now.

things have been JUST A LITTLE hectic since our move. there are boxes everywhere. and there is a 2-year-old who thinks all boxes are left out JUST for HER to EXPLORE.

ahem. apparently i HAD a box of pantiliners that were individually wrapped. i didn't put them away because they aren't my usual brand, my sister-in-law gifted them to me with other hygiene products she got for free.

i do not have pantiliners stuck all over the place ONLY because the child doesn't know they are sticky.

what she DOES know is that they are fun to unwrap. so little folded-up pantiliners all over the place, and a little box full of unfolded pink wrappers.

i'm torn between putting them away so she can't do this anymore and showing her about the sticky side to see just what she does.

things are looking up

oh, you're so going to laugh at THAT title.

i've always been pretty casual about nudity. when the boys started noticing it, i was more careful with them, and now they're prepubescent they freak about nudity - theirs or mine. but i still shower with my little girl and she gets a kick out of taking a "quick shower" with mommy.

so last night we were in the bathroom getting ready for our quick shower, naked, and i sat down to pee before we got in. she says, "What your bubbies doing?" (um, nothing?) then she takes one breast between her two hands and lifts it up so it faces forward. "There!"

apparently pointing down while unsupported, slouching, and urinating is unacceptable. they need to face the world and be happy! at all times! like my Lolly!

pink

My little LaLa, SIGH, what to say?

i went to get the mail, and she insisted she needed mail. so i gave her the Walmart circular, which she promtly identified Walmart!

then she brought it to show me the lello (pink) pumpkin and lello (pink) dancing dress and tutu in the circular. i told her all 3 items were PINK, and that THIS color was yellow. to which she repeated "pink" and internalized a moment. then told me they were lello, and she NEEDED a lello pumpkin and a lello dancing dress.

never argue with a 2-year-old.

she turned the page and saw cupcakes, and decided she needed CAKE. RIGHT NOW. since i choose not to argue without GOOD cause, i gave her cake.

she does NOT like being told which numbers come in which sequence, and can be relied upon to count 1, 2, 5, 1, 2, 5. but she dropped the pages of the circular and the other junk i gave her, and picked them up, and counted PROPERLY to 11. when i heard 6, 7, 8, i tuned in, and she went all the way to 11. she just doesn't want to REWARD us by doing so!

she is a stubborn little stinker, but she's mine, and she's sunshine EVERY morning!

guilt

mama programmed me well. i feel guilt over good things, bad things, small things, and large things, and sometimes not for the things i probably "should."

yesterday, 10/15, was a day for remembering miscarriages and preemies who didn't make it. y'all may not know or remember, but i did have an early miscarriage before my firstborn made it to term. it was just 8 weeks, looked like the pregnancy didn't do anything more than start.

and it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me at the time. (having an infant in the NICU was much harder, i believe.) it broke my heart and i went to counseling and i was certain we'd be expecting again before the due date. and i was and i've moved on with my life.

other women who have suffered losses will say things like "i think about you every day of my life" or they mourn, especially on 10/15.

and i don't. i don't think of it as a child, i got the children i was meant to have. i don't feel bad every day, i don't really feel bad about it ever. i lit my candle last year and thought about it, but i didn't remember yesterday and i don't even feel guilty over that.

life is complicated enough. i'm glad i'm healed and i don't feel bad, especially every day. and as of now, i'm done with feeling guilt over being emotionally healthy in this one aspect of my life!

(insert politically correct words here about not diminishing anyone else's experiences and whatnot... y'all know i'm not a hater.)

AGE

a friend of mine just posted a link to this fun site. most of the things i've seen are for small children, but this one today is for MOMMIES! to get more free entries i'm blogging about them but you'll enjoy it.

my favorite product on the etsy site is the secret garden heart lock. it's on the third page of items, and her products are all just fun and cute. enjoy!

wedding stories - or, the incredible disintegrating pants

we went to a nephew's wedding over the weekend. drove to philadelphia friday, wedding saturday, home sunday. a quick trip but it actually was really nice. the wedding was wonderful. a simply lovely wedding, flawless reception, just as nice as anyone could ever ask for. when you get married in the basilica of ss. peter and paul in philadelphia, you've got a leg up on atmosphere! but it was gorgeous and they both looked just so happy. saturday morning DH took the kids to the hotel pool for a while, then we got ready for the wedding. we all drove over to rich's mom's apartment, arrived around 1. she had arranged a babysitter to watch the kids there; the plan was to get to visit with her a little bit, be more comfortable with leaving our kids with a complete stranger before we had to go, and the plan was to leave at 2. i noticed my LOVELY velvet pants that i had bought for the wedding were shedding a bit but didn't think twice about it because they were new. at 1:45 i noticed that the seams on my new dress pants were disintegrating. they must have been cut too close, and since velvet is cut to make it plush, when the seams pull out there's NOTHING there to sew back together. so i had a gap of 2 inches on either side of the inseam. can we panic now? (later noticed that the entire fly had pulled apart too. they WILL be going back!) MIL lives next to a shopping center that contained a kohls. so i bolted to kohls and dragged DH along with me - i was much less panicked not having to do this myself. (besides, i already SHOPPED for this event!) pulled 3 pants off the rack that were in the right size range, black. they weren't as attractive but at this point the goal was COVERING MY BUTT, not making it look good. threw them on and off and on again, picked a pair, and wore it out. i went to the cashier and said, "I'm in the middle of a fashion emergency, can you scan my butt?" which he did capably and we paid and got back to MIL's place at 2:10. i am so efficient. the wedding was downtown at 3. the plan to leave at 2 left room for emergencies. we jumped in the car with MIL and headed to the church. only the route was closed for some special event - and that's the only way DH really knows to get there. fortunately the detour wasn't long, WAS well-marked, and put us back on the road we needed before it diverged. got to the cathedral at 2:50, 1 minute after the bridal party. MIL and i got out while DH parked, and we all got to our seats in good time. whew! from there things went very smoothly. the reception was gorgeous, food was amazing. it was so well put together. i drank rather more than i have in some time, but i had a really good excuse with the stress of having to dress for the wedding twice!

NOT what you thought i'd be talking about, or things that make you go HM.

we moved on 9/28, and have had one disaster after another every single day since. yesterday was finally disaster-free. i could hold forth on all of them but frankly i'd rather not revisit. i'm anxious just thinking about talking about them.

so instead, i'll mention how i just realized HOW MUCH babies change your life. it's a TMI post, at which my regular readers will not NOT be surprised.

i no longer go to the bathroom until i cannot hold it any longer (that duration is affected, too, with my big-headed babies, but that's not the point). because my precious darling LaLa must always accompany and/or bang on the door yelling "what doing mama? i go poo! i go poo too!" this is not conducive to the relaxation that facilitates one's business. so i put it off in order to reduce the number of times every day i must live through the experience.

every single minute detail of your life is changed once you have children. and you never regret it and wouldn't change it for the world. but sometimes you stop and realize how EVEN THAT has changed. yes, even that.

The Hot Fat Girl Manifesto

i stole this from cupcake's blog.

Because being a hot fat girl is a lot of work and is undervalued or unrecognized.
Because a fat girl still has to pay more money for uglier clothes or spend 11 hours at the thrift store to find anything hot to wear.
Because if you take the elevator people think you’re lazy but if you’re on the treadmill people laugh.
Because men like John Goodman and Bernie Mac get to have careers on television but sitcom moms of three still have size-two waists.
Because even feminist magazines publish fat-phobic articles under the guise of it being a “health issue.”
Because anti-capitalist activists still use expressions like “fat capitalist pig.”
Because girls are dieting at the age of nine.
Because side effects of the most popular diet drugs are seizures, heart failure, fecal urgency, breast cancer, lung disease, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, dangerously high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat, psychosis, strokes, hallucinations and sudden death.
Because the Cooper Institute’s ongoing study of 30,000 people has found that those who are fittest live the longest, no matter what they weigh.
Because the doctor who said that there were 30,000 “obesity-related” deaths each year received over $2 million in research funding from Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers.
Because that study prompted the FDA to approve Phen-Phen and Redux.
Because fat hatred is a money-making industry.
Because fat people who exercise live longer than thin people who don’t.
Because if you lose weight ’cause you’re sick people tell you how great you look.
Because hatred is so ingrained in every single one of us, especially inside the heart of even the hottest fat girl.
Because even the most progressive people don’t talk or write about it.
Because I am tired of being ignored, invisible, de-sexualized and told that I have such a pretty face.
Because it’s not fat that kills, it’s fear of fat.
For all that and more I am a part of the HOT FAT GIRL REVOLUTION!

The Hot Fat Girl Manifesto by Zoe Whittall

whee!

i can see my new car from the window of the office in my "new"house. how's that for cheery?