Friday, March 30, 2007

Zen Sarcasm

in lieu of Friday Fave Five - with much thanks to Kim, who gives me giggles when i need them!

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

... and less!

the"builder representative" phoned me back. in my perpetual quest for fairness, i felt that should be posted, too.

they don't check the machine at the office too often; i should call her cell. and her email has a glitch that she hasn't received it at all. she was going to send ME a test email, but i didn't get one.

anyway - good answers to all questions! we're about ready to sign on the dotted line! we've made our decision (it's hard to say no to a new house), we just have to get all the ducks in a row.

there's no playground ON the site, it being small, but we're across from a ballfield, and she says it's a full park, with a playground.

now we just have to go meet with her and work out our deal. can't wait! lots to do!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

more of the same

the mortgage agent didn't get back to me, either. granted, we're difficult to fit, but if you say you're going to get back to me this afternoon by email, why don't you?

(i called the preferred lender to try to get the loan through them, so that we could get the extra cash at closing.)

i'm fairly fed up.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


why is it professional people don't return phone calls? these folks have big bucks to make off of me, but won't call me back!

our agent hasn't called back or emailed. we knew he was leaving for vacation, but he dropped out of sight well before that.

now the selling agent for the development we want to talk to won't call me back. i emailed her Monday, phoned her at 9:30 this morning, and no replies. if she doesn't have answers, she should still call! i have MORE questions!

ok, i'm done ranting. until next time. (deep in thought)



since i got my sniffers, i've been feeling MUCH better. i had a sore throat the day after looking at houses the first time. sunday i ran out of Zyrtec and didn't take it for two days. SCREAMING sore throat, worthy of ice cream at bedtime to try to get it to calm down enough to sleep.

BUT i know what makes it happen now. i asked the doctor for samples until i could find my Zyrtec (b/c i already had the refill), brought them home and promptly found it! and i'm happier this morning.

both sons usually take Claritin all allergy season. it's helping #1, but #2 has itchy burning eyes constantly and dark circles and misery. so he's taking the Zyrtec samples, to see if it helps better. our family doc sez this is a terrible year for it - he also had swollen face and itchies, claimed he had a cold to boot. i definitely know how he feels! and he can keep it!

i take Zyrtec year-round for various allergies, and my skin was getting itchy all over yesterday, so i guess i haven't outgrown it. :p

baby girl is getting more and more active (or at least palpably active!) and i'm enjoying being nudged at random moments 24/7. really. ask me in a month how my ribs feel and it will be a different story, but now, i'm enjoying it! this next month is about the best part, and i have to spend it cleaning and packing. *eyeroll*

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


i'm just stressed out of my mind. if you don't know why you haven't been reading carefully! i'm not very amusing or even naughty when i feel like this, just stretched and drained and weary from the work of continuing with life when i want to scream and hide in my bed.

so posts may be less frequent while i cope. thank you.

Monday, March 26, 2007

25 weeks update

hard to separate into Pros and Cons today...

i'm feeling more movement some days, not others. she's determined to sit on my spine most of the time still. she WILL move if i lean over and make the space smaller, after i sit up she moves around.

we drove out to look at houses again this weekend, and road trips are getting less fun. but we found a new development that's a little farther from DH's work but fits our family and our budget! how exciting!

now comes the work of moving and the emotions of leaving behind our home. *snif* we did the fun part to help the kids feel better about the whole deal, and now comes the drudgery. can't be helped, i suppose.

Friday, March 23, 2007

friday fave five

i'm drawing a blank, but then i usually do, and go on to verbal incontinence...

i could borrow Alana's format and list my fave five fantasy fellas... and Dooce was talking about her life being unfulfilled if she couldn't sip alcoholic beverages from Clive Owen's navel.

let's see...

Daniel Craig... but it has nothing to do with his navel. sorry. i'm afraid a large part of his attraction is his ass. and his brass.

Colin Farrell... double-glove and go for it! and don't anyone bleach his hair ever again.

Jeff Goldblum, always and forever on the list!

still Pierce Brosnan, come to that.

and who could leave off Magnum, P.I.? i mean, Tom Selleck. every time i see him on TV, in Friends reruns or whatnot, my heart skips a beat.

i do believe Tom Selleck was my first lust object, and in those little shorts, who wouldn't breathe heavily? (mom tried to kill my crush as a child by telling me he was the same age as my father. my reply was what? he is? oh. so what?) Alan Alda was also on the list way back when! but i'm afraid he's a bit too old for the list now. although Sean Connery is always a contender!

looks like ima butt gal (see shorts comment). it WAS one of the first things i noticed about DH!

it also appears i prefer a dark look. i already knew that, but i'm cuing YOU in just in case you missed it. somehow i always end up with blondes, but that's b/c i look past the wrapping. in wrapping, i definitely prefer dark men!

now ... whether to post in current candid state or revise. what the hell is a blog for if not being candid? feel free post objections and if i'm affected by them i'll revise.

Thursday, March 22, 2007


we're pre-approved!
hallelujah, one less worry!

now if only i could pay the electric bill.

you know you're living in 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in your groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before breakfast.

11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.


Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

baby baby

thumper is living up to her name! she's been so gentle thus far that it's quite exciting to feel the familiar baby nudge that about knocks you out of your seat.

she's also decided to let me look pregnant. it seems weird to be eager to "look pregnant," until you realize that if you're pregnant and you don't look it, you just look fat. i can look FAT any time, i only have a few months to look PG. i'm so excited that she's off my spine - she's decided the right side of my belly is comfy, too.

i know, i'm weird. goes with the territory - you came, you saw, you read it here! you shouldn't be surprised!

feeling better

you know you're feeling better when you no longer procrastinate washing your hair, but actually find reasons TO take a shower, instead of reasons you can wait another day.

also, pregnancy goes lots faster when you are in denial. it may end abruptly, but it goes faster!

good things

i promised to post good things about #1 son when they came up. so when i get the warm, gooey mama feelings, i'm compelled by that promise to share.

all year, they've been sending home notes about music lessons, that 4th grade will need a recorder in january. in january, they started being urgent. DS was NOT enthusiastic, to say the least, about the lessons, but didn't want to be unprepared. so of course he was. when we tried to remember on the weekend, we found the stores were all closed on sunday. see what you get for procrastinating?

we ran out to get the recorder finally on a weekday, and discovered that the book had to be ordered in, since all of the local schools do the same thing, and there are only two music stores in the entire city area.

so this week he finally had recorder and music together and got to go to class.

since then, he has been practicing daily and loving it. he is thrilled that he can make music, that he knows what the different notes are, that he's learning to read music.

it's a surprise, mainly because of how strenuously he resisted it, and how against such things he can be. but he's found a passion and i'm in mommy heaven.

meanwhile, #2 son is singing all the time and wants to learn more piano constantly. no fighting to get him to enjoy music! and he's the one i labeled "stubborn." go figure.

i'm sitting back with a contented cow look on my face (and a blue koala maternity shirt on my bod), and no apologies. sometimes that's just the best we can aspire to! and it's pretty dang good!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


feeling a little less overwhelmed by house hunting trip. obviously will have to schedule these on saturdays so i can function by monday!

searched durham and found some good links. these are a couple that might work:

if you enjoy looking at houses online, check them out. if you're just relieved i'm less stressed out, leave me a note. if you don't really care, what are you doing here? :p

Monday, March 19, 2007

house hunting trip 1


we've done this what, three times before? this was the hardest of all.

perhaps we're pickier than we used to be. but we know what we want, and need, and apparently we can't afford either. gr.

we looked at lot of dinky houses that won't work. we looked a couple of cute houses that the agent said he'd "hate to see us buy." (sorry, but his emotions don't factor into my decision-making!) he was really great otherwise, friendly etc. DH got along amazingly with him.

one we liked was built in 1912. about 1600 sq. ft., it's been kept up well, and completely redone with floors and a lovely kitchen. it's a little cold, being empty. but it has a nice yard and is across the street from a baseball field. it's in town, which would be different for us, but all in all, it would work well. others wouldn't as well.

it did have uneven floors in a couple of places from settling, and evidence of previous cracks. but really, everything visible was repaired. we'd have to have a thorough inspection done before buying, but it was nice. it wasn't perfect, but it was nice.

other homes didn't have any place for me to work. i'd either be in with the baby or in the front room. we dropped any that didn't have big yards as most did. we saw a couple of other pretty houses that were in the 1200-1300 sq. ft. range. they'd be a big compromise.

well, mr. mike said he'd look for some houses that fit our needs in durham, try to find out about the schools there. said SW durham could work. and some other small towns in a different direction. so we'll be driving around more. :p

came home and felt just worn out. slept 12 hours, badly. DH didn't sleep well either. before he went to sleep, he told me he felt that commuting was a better alternative to buying a tiny house that changes our whole standard of living. can't argue that! it wouldn't be easy, but none of it is. we shall see what trip 2 brings.

Sunday, March 18, 2007


she's really woken up the past few days! i hadn't had "regular" movement, figured it was b/c of my size and her resting place on my spine. just now and then felt something.

now she thumps me all the time. i think she was on my bladder last night b/c i kept needing to pee but not producing anything. she also seems to have changed position to my right hip, instead of my spine; the belly is oddly shaped (i'm the only one who would notice that, b/c of my size; i lie on my back and poke around to see where it is today).

seems pretty healthy; def. getting stronger! i'm getting more neurotic. i see danger around every child i'm near. but i can breathe, and without coughing! i'd much rather be neurotic than ill.

Friday, March 16, 2007

followup on move

I did take my babies to Michael's for "build-a-bears" (i'm too cheap to hit the real store; dunno why i'm in so much financial trouble!) yesterday. i told them they would be their moving buddies, and when they felt sad, they should get their bears.

they slept with the bears last night. until the rain woke them up, then they climbed in with their daddy.

me? i was on the couch, b/c it had been warm all week, but not hot enough to put the a/c on, and i just couldn't face the heat upstairs. so it all worked out well, and now i'm working. well, working on getting to work...


if you haven't discovered dooce yet, you have to clink my link to favorite places and check her out. she is the best blogger out there.

some of the "comments" on her site today reminded me of Richard Jeni's recent suicide. many of us who hide our feelings with comedy could use the reminder that we are loved and not to take the haters too seriously. this too shall pass.

and then there's Heather. now, she could be hiding her emotions. or blanking them out with Prozac, which is more likely (being as she posts about it). but when she gets hate mail, does she hate back? no. she posts it and mocks the mailers.

i hope i grow up to be like her.

and the name isn't anything nasty, it's her inability to type fast, in a work setting, which earned her a nickname now memorialized for all time (or until the EMP) on her site.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

more jokes!

Three Kick Rule

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I 'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this; with the "Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

who's lurking out there?

after DH got his official start date, he told me he thought he should commute for a week and see how it goes, before deciding to rent something in chapel hill area.

didn't i mention exactly that on here? i just told him i was going to suggest exactly that to him.

makes me wonder who's reading this blog! come on, peeps, i left the anonymous option on! tell me you've been here!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

le move

i thought i'd posted more here about this, but apparently it was on the family website.

some weeks ago, DH told me there was an opportunity to transfer to the corporate headquarters in Chapel Hill (90 miles east of us), with a promotion to training. he thought he was overqualified, and he didn't want to move. but the pay difference was 30%, so i told him he had to at least apply!

we waited for weeks for the interview, then the decision-making, then the official offer. haven't slept well the whole time. (there were a few other factors, cement-head among them.) and yesterday it became official! we don't have a time frame for his starting the job as yet, but we WILL be moving.

DH plans to get a studio in Chapel Hill until school lets out and the baby is born, then we'll move. he doesn't want to commute 90 miles each way, and i don't blame him. but it's only 90 minutes, and that's only twice his current commute, and the expense of an apartment is frightening. we need every penny to get this place ready to sell!

at any rate, it's wonderful news. we'll have far less stress about money, but we'll still be careful with it so we can clear up the financial mess we've BEEN in and stay out of trouble in the future. we may even be able to start 401K's!

the hard part is the kids. #1 son couldn't sleep last night b/c it was official and we told him. he knew it was possible, even probable for the last week or so, but knowing it made him really sad. and mommies HATE when their babies are sad. i always hate moving, but this is the choice we've made. and kids never get a choice. it sucks.

i'd like to do something special for my babies. but the banks took all our money for errors (on their part and ADP's part, will rant later about that!), and all i can do is give sympathy and hugs. i think we'll hit Michael's later in the week for a treat. nothing makes him happier!

NB: we have an official start date! 4-2-07!


damn banks have screwed us up royally TWICE this week. they think just b/c they keep our money for it, it belongs to them, and keep taking payments they're not authorized, or not crediting auto deposits and bouncing everything. i'm pretty fumigated, lemmejustsay!

this is my idea of sweet revenge.


An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.

"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

"Don't know of collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"I don't know; it has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put it in my pocket."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.

"I don't know of deposit."

"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"


that always makes me laugh!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


brain has finally returned to full function. or the stray thoughts that pass for such around here. *sigh*

hope to return to DEEP THOUGHTS soon.



why do they make calendars with little bitty holes so very near the edge? then you have to use a tiny nail to hang them, so it will fit through the hole. this inevitably rips through b/c it's got such a small, pin-sized shaft. so then your beautiful calendars drop their pages back down and end up on the floor.

i guess i should buy real calendars instead of using the ones that come free in the mail.

Ben Franklin

#1 son came home and told me about his assigned projects weeks ago. he had two due this tuesday. inwardly, i groaned, and thought 'why do they give the PARENTS homework?' but i smiled and said "this is going to be FUN!"

the Benjamin Franklin project was to be in SCRAPBOOK format. again, parents' homework. but we did have fun, and it's finished. though i haven't got my photo abilities uploaded, i expect i WILL be able to post copies of this imminently. the boy did HOURS of research, and we spent a good six hours on the project together. the Internet makes this so much fun - think what image you want, type it into Google, hey presto! you print it at your handy-dandy printer.

Monday, March 12, 2007


i just got approval to work overtime this week (since i've been so behind things lately, and we're in need of extra work). this is about the first time EVER i've had overtime approved!

sure hope i feel well enough to get it in; we could sure use some extra cash!


#1 son wants to name his baby sister Angel. so, this seemed fitting.

Angels Explained by Children

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold. -Gregory, 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. -Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. -Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. -Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. -Henry, 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!! -Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. -Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado. -Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. -Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. -Jared, 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. -Antonio, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. -Katelynn, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. -Vicki, 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. -Sarah, 7

Friday Fave Five

i didn't do one this week. i wasn't in the mood. had thought about discarding the idea altogether, since d*sister had started it. it's still a good idea, even if i'm ready to shake HER right now!

so, if i think of five today, i'll post them; if not, will hold until THIS friday.

dox-in-box should be high on the list!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

...more dreams (part 4)

i dreamed about Brad Pitt AGAIN last night. that man must wake up EXHAUSTED!

Friday, March 09, 2007

life's hard

and we really don't have to make it harder for each other. i used to have a quote in my room (when i put posters up, in my younger days), that read:

What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?

the last couple of days haven't worked out that way. my life is hard enough right now without anybody dumping their accumulated garbage on me!

but, as the saying goes "life sucks, and then you die." i revised it to be:

Life's hard, and when it isn't, you die.

moving on now.

comfort food

two popular favorites: chocolate and cheese.

if we could just figure out how to make the two go together, we'd never eat anything else!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

guy jokes

to compensate for all my gushing yesterday, here are some "let's beat up on men" jokes. which they won't realize is beating, so it's all good.


Men Are Just Happier People--

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

... more dreams (part 3)

again with the weird hormonal dreams! i'm not posting details of this one, but it was quite disturbing (when i woke up). hey, but i got something out of it - happy birthday to me!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

more dreams (part 2)

i dreamed Brad Pitt was my baby daddy last night. funny, he acted just like DH does when he's at his nicest. all i want is to be worshipped - is that so much to ask? [NB - we did buy Ocean's Twelve Friday, and watched it twice since then, so i KNOW where my subconscious is getting this from.]

seriously, DH has been at his best through this PG. i know i've said so before, but i've been sick so long, and able to do so little. he's kept up, and has rarely gotten impatient. (of course, i cry when he does, so it's not really rewarding to get impatient!) my appetite has gone missing, and he actually brought home fast food Sunday, even though he really doesn't like it much. (sadly, at his point, neither do i. somebody help me!)

so if i dream DH looks like Brad Pitt, i guess it's ok for him to dream i look like whomever appears in his subconscious. *snicker* nice of me to give his SUBCONSCIOUS permission to fantasize, innit?

this started out to be a "fantasy" fun post, and turned into a "my DH is so great!" post. how disgusting, truly! but he's gotten a lot of appreciation when he's been sweet. he lova me. lova me, lova me!

just chalk it up to hormones if i'm too squishy for you. it's my birthday and i'll gush if i want to!

...harder when you're stupid part 3

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started!"

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

Then he takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box".

(again, thanks to kip!)

Monday, March 05, 2007

late Oscar post

i still want to talk about the Oscars, even though it was a week ago already. i've been sleeping most of the week, so the post comes now.

do i discuss who won or what they wore? i haven't seen a lot of first-run movies lately, so i'm not all that into who won. feel free to comment on the subject.

my best-dressed woman by far was Cate Blanchett. she was perfect! the dress was amazing, metal mesh [actually found out it was SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL mesh, weighed 40 POUNDS - almost as much as the actress! who knew they could do that? too cool!], covered by some soft stuff so she didn't look like an iron maiden. her figure was flawless. her EARRINGS made me drool - they had some cunning filigree sort of shape up around her earlobe, and i LOVED them!

Helen Mirren was a close runner-up for #1. age-appropriate, sexy, gorgeous, looked like a princess! (ormaybea "Queen?")

could NOT get into J-Lo - reduce the bling by 50% or more, get rid of the 60's helmet-hair, and she'd have looked like a goddess. but it's J-Lo so nobody could say a word against her.

worst dressed? meryl streep, and eva green (the new bond girl, might have last name wrong). meryl looked like she didn't care, b/c if she won it was an injustice. eva looked like she needed to HIRE A STYLIST NOW! she's so gorgeous in the movie, and she was a frump in an ugly dress. bless her heart.

jennifer hudson couldn't keep her hands out of her pockets, and the bolero did nothing for the dress. we forgive her b/c it was her first time. and can that girl sing? wow! (dreamgirls is on my catch-up list)

beyonce was a split decision for others, but i thought she looked Sha-Zam! (of course, she always does. she and halle berry definitely know what works on their freak-of-nature amazing bodies.)

many others looked very nice, or not bad. i'm still in the air on nicole kidman's red bow. but don't you agree - i've dissected the world of fashion FAR more ably than the rivers ladies!?! E should hire me - i recognize the designers' names, but not their dresses.

some of the young starlets who have big bosums need some damn SUPPORT, instead of wearing strapless and hanging to their knees. NOT your best look, ladies! (anne hathaway, kirsten dunst) they need to hire beyonce/berry type stylists.

i'd love to BE a stylist. tell stars what looks best on them? fun! somebody needs to take a firm hand on Jada and tell her just b/c she CAN wear anything doesn't mean she SHOULD. and can she do SOMETHING with that hair besides pull it back and look like a pinhead?

rnating is fun. [nobody noticed i misspelled ranting. i was hoping for a reciprocal rant!]

Saturday, March 03, 2007

more dreams

weirdness... i've only gained 10 pounds, at 22 weeks. this is PERFECT for someone who started out at a healthy weight. i've never started there, and i've always gained at LEAST twice that by this point. but i've had no appetite mostly.

so, my subconscious has to worry. that's what it's there for. "my baby isn't growing! it's going to be born early b/c it isn't thriving in the womb! many other things could be going wrong! the OB doesn't measure my belly at my visits [probably due to my starting weight] and the baby might not be growing!"

last night i dreamed that baby was born at 6 months 2 days, weighed 5 pounds plus, and was healthy. but tiny!

like i don't have enough going on, now i'm obsessing about this. truly, boobies are a much healthier obsession - there aren't really any consequences!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Friday Fave Five

TGIF! why is it TG this F?

1. it's the first day this week i've stayed awake after waking up in the morning.
2. i'm going to be broke, but i called out sick, so i don't have to make up my hours! this means my saturday may not be a total wash for a change!
3. DH is interviewing with his company for a nice promotion this afternoon. it would mean a move, so he's a bit ambivalent, but it would also be a big raise (or we wouldn't do it). so, yeah, lots of stress, positive and negative, going on in the house!
4. Clintamycin (clint eastwood of antibiotics) makes you run to the bathroom lots, but it kills EVERYTHING it should, and nothing else has, so i'll put up with this for a while. lots of yogurt, probiotics, and metamucil. (yeah, tmi, so what?)
5. it's Friday, grace of God, and i'm sure glad! i may actually get well for more than 5 days straight this time! i'm kind of feeling hopeful, and that's a MAJOR improvement.

what's good on YOUR friday list?

my obsession again

so, last night i dreamed i had a boob job, a la Pam Anderson, and i was so thrilled with my luscious breasts i just wanted to walk around topless (and did for some time, too. dreams can be fun!).

now, i did watch Charlie's Angels before i went to sleep - a favorite guilty pleasure - and there are some very nice racks displayed prominently therein (Drew Barrymore before she lost weight - her decolletage is PERFECT, and the objects themselves pretty fine, too)! perhaps this is where my subconscious got it.

it was really interesting b/c i had psychic powers and could alter my body, my reality, which universe i was in at a thought. but i had to concentrate, and once i had it figured out it started faltering. of course. i love having powers in dreams, but they always short-circuit when you become a bit conscious of them.

since this is a frequent topic in various ways, had to post it. i was also nursing the baby. weird weird weird. i'll admit to an obsession now, i suppose. maybe someday i'll outgrow my Emerson phase, but i doubt it.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

still sick and tired

but improving. now my head is full of cotton balls instead of mashed potatoes (which were an improvement over cement, remember). i need a nap, but i'm going to work instead. then i can sleep when the kids get home - why pay attention to THEM? (seriously, i've got Major Mommy Guilt over how little attention they've gotten in recent months. they'll get still less after Thumper climbs out!)

that is all.

...harder when you're stupid part 2

A man walked into a bar. The next one ducked.


What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the plane?


Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
He was feeling crummy!


Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."


Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.
Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him tosing like a bird.
Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!
Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.
Pat: I to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?

update on Mr. ADHD

well, we had the appointment this morning. my three biggest points were:

-he's always fidgeting
-he's not responsible for homework, coming home or returning to school
-doesn't pay attention to what you're saying to him

(not exactly how we discussed things, but i don't have an eidetic memory and i DO have a sinus infection.)

rich's additional point:

-he can't control himself while playing with his brother, and things get out of hand regularly, with brother being injured.

we did another checklist thingie with the assistant, and when the doctor saw the results of that and the online one, as well as heard our biggest points, he started talking about meds.

people have warned me they don't believe in meds, and they're too quick to prescribe them. well, we've been avoiding believing this problem existed for years, so "quick" isn't really an adverb that applies.

there are two categories prescribed for ADHD: first are the amphetamines, which improve concentration. then there is Strattera, which was developed as an antidepressant and found to work better for this function. antidepressants CAN be used, but they carry a risk of increased suicidal ideation as a side effect.

we really trust our GP and decided to try Strattera. the problem has definitely gotten worse over the last six months. i'm able to see a difference in the two boys in how they handle things and how they work. the boy was actually GLAD to get evaluated and get help; he can't control himself, and it's very upsetting.

so, if you think i made the wrong choice, you're free to have that opinion. but i feel pretty good about this decision, and i don't much care about your opinion; I'M his mother, and that's good enough for me.