Sunday, December 31, 2006

year-end survey

In 2006 did you?...

*lose any friends? No
*make any new friends? think so
*make any new enemies? only in cyberspace
*develop any new hobbies? developed hobby of beading, but began in 2005...
*get older? as opposed to the alternative, i'm writing this as ectoplasm?
*do anything you regret? i've spent most of my life striving to never regret anything, by making the choices that will prevent that. sometimes that's preventing regretting NOT doing something, which is mostly how i look at this resolution.
*go to any parties? dinner
*accomplish anything? survived the damn year!
*make much money? not so much
*attend a wedding? nope
*attend a funeral? happy to report nope again - last one was Nov. 05.
*get any new family members? a niece or two, one in Jan, one in Sept. step-niece in Aug., brother-in-law too! foster nephew in Dec.
*move away? again, happy to report nope again!
*gain any new perspectives? well, i try to do that frequently
*get into a verbal fight? erm, i try NOT to do that frequently, but with all the time i spent with my family of origin this summer, i'm sure there was one or two i'm trying to forget
*get into a physical fight? not even close
*attend any sporting events? again, not even close
*get arrested? damn but i'm boring - never
*wreck your car? lucky me, nope - but i dream i have regularly, due to past wrecks.
*get a new car? *sigh* no
*make any big purchases? refer to "make much money" - it will explain no big purchases. largest sort was a new camera, having lost mine in Utah.
*get kicked out of a store, restaurant or any other kind of business? no, but i watched people do so in a movie (Talladega Nights)*get fired from a job? only worried about it, didn't happen.
*get offered a job? not this year
*get a raise at a job? wouldn't that be nice? (refer to "not much money" again)
*learn anything? can't cite anything, but probably
*dump your bf/gf? erm, as we've been married 11+ years, it's too expensive
*get dumped by your bf/gf? see above
*develop any new health problems? asthma, pregnancy
*change as a person? hormonally
*get any new piercings? i'm boring, remember?
*get any new tattoos? nope
*attend a concert? no - why am i doing this survey, anyway?
*crowd surf? oh please
*travel out of state? Utah in summer, Virginia for Thanksgiving, Florida for spring break! (Kennedy Space Center!)
*read any books? daily
*travel out of the country? no - but made pie-in-the-sky plans!
*spend much money? only in that it was more than we earned
*download any music? nope
*try out any new looks? my hair is cooperating a bit, and i'm using a different shampoo, but mostly i'm boring. do plan to donate to locks of love before delivery, since it will all fall out afterwards and i'll just have to get it cut then, but it won't be as thick.
*sign up for a myspace? what?
*sign up for a facebook? too lazy
*eat a food that you had never eaten before? don't remember ... maybe
*go golfing? mini
*go bowling? i let my boys all go without me
*start to resent something or someone that you used to like? hormonally, yes

In 2006, how many....
*different places did you work? one
*times did you go out drinking? only one drink while out
*times did you smoke marijuana? zero
*times did you have health problems? TNTC
*times did you go to the movies? less than usual, but that's related to "not much money"
*concerts did you attend? zero
*people did you have sex with? TMI! jk, just one
*people tried to have sex with you? if i count hormonally-fueled dreams, LOTS! however, unfortunately, my privacy block rarely lets me really enjoy them.
*get your ass kicked? fell into the Green River while white-water rafting - i'd say that counts pretty well!
*crushes did you have? more than 10
*times did you attend church? more than 10 (really, more than 40)
*bad habits did you pick up? too much time in online chat rooms
*"rough nights" did you have? every time i get sick i have a few - stupid cold!

In 2006, what was?
*your favorite day of the year? i hef no idear
*your favorite band? queen
*least favorite day of the year? no idear
*your favorite movie? Narnia. may have been released in '05, but nothing else leaps to mind.
*your favorite song of the year? actually i prefer quiet
*most expensive thing you stole? i wouldn't steal - on purpose. occasionally forget to pay for donuts at the supermarket that the kids already ate. but i'm such a square i pay the next time through the line.
*the biggest event you attended? don't think i attended any
*something that didn't change at all this year? more to do than i could ever accomplish
*your favorite holiday? oh, today i'd say Valentine's

Misc. questions about 2006 A.D.
*were you in a hospital this year? ER for a CT scan of DS's head last week (he's fine).
*were you in an ambulance this year? don't think i have EVER been
*did you make any big confessions in 06? told SIL one
*embarrassed about anything you did this year? i hef no idear
*what's the best thing to happen to you this year? in some ways this was my best year. best thing was surprise pregnancy - when i'd been trying to convince DH for SIX MONTHS we were supposed to have another person in our family, he stubbornly refused, and God took a hand!
*did you meet anyone that you could see yourself marrying? no
*did you vote this year? would have but was sick
*did you bring sexy back this year? well, the hormones relented and DH got better than pity sex finally - can we count that?
*what goals did you set for 2007? kids both set behavior goals. since i'm PG, can't set weight loss goals, so we set a goal to say family prayers and grace before meals.

sorry this was such a lousy poll for me - perhaps you'll have better replies! i look forward to seeing them!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

my annual bra rant

i was just scrolling through/reviewing old posts, and noticed my bra rant came through in Dec. 04 and Nov. 05. well, i'm due then, aren't i?

i've been angry about them for days/weeks now. as you know, i'm knocked up. and, well, my boobies are VERY knocked up! i'm overflowing my bras when i wear the ones that make me look well-endowed. then they're rather graphic.

the dang things ached from day of ovulation for months on end and still do intermittently. i got them sports bras. they got better and i put them into their favorites, and they overflow. if i ever have two 20's to rub together, i'm gonna head to motherhood and pick up a couple of industrial-strength bras.

until then - i remain Deep in Thought

Friday, December 29, 2006

update #2

well, i got a reply from my first person mentioned below:

"remove me from the list I don't feel that the [deleted] board is for me anymore. I think one person went over the line on a PERSONAL issue that I am dealing with. I have every right to have my feelings, and to say that I don't is un called for. I was not telling someone that their opinion was wrong, I was saying that their information was wrong and to jump to conclusions was wrong on her part.

"OHH [sister] how is 2.5 year old going to help me? he can't you obviously don't know what you are talking about. And obvioulsly you need some education to learn a few things. You THINK you know me and you don't, you can't and don't know my every thought. I cannot and will not be talking to you until you realize that what YOU were telling me was fueling the fire.
don't mean to bring this up here, but this is the LAST post I will make on this thread. REMOVE me from the group, I found a support group that is helping me not telling me to do something that I KNOW I DONT NEED. "


and i'm afraid my reply to her was less kind than my earlier post:

"i'm truly sorry you feel that way, and that you can't see that your extreme negativity is hurting you as well as those around you. it's interesting that you prefer that support group when you are attacking people's replies to you there - but selectively - if one person says you could use help, it's ok, but if another does, they are subject to your rants and attacks. if you keep attacking the support group you've found, they will not continue supporting you, as i commented there.

"i have seen such a consistent negative energy from you that i am very concerned about your wellbeing. however, i will honor your wishes and remove your from the mommy list. i will also block your posts as your negative energy and comments have more than once impacted my own mood severely.

"I have dealt with depression for many years and i do know a thing or two, but you may believe i know nothing if you prefer to do so. medication and counseling have helped millions, but if you believe they will do nothing for you, they will not, as you refuse to try. having tried one antidepressant means absolutely nothing about whether they can help you now.

"i'd like to think that being thus frank and blunt with you will make an impact and you will hear my words as well as the honest emotion behind it hoping your situation will improve. but i don't expect it to.

"it's a shame you condemn an entire group based on one or two people in it. that's why they have an "ignore user" button, so you can ignore people who irritate you."

well, i'm not thinking about this anymore right now. i'm really worried about her, her sister says her husband is very concerned, worried about her children and his, but clearly she will not accept help. i guess i'll just have to pray for her. that would probably irritate her, too!


after i posted my comment, i checked back several times to see if this person had noticed it. nothing.

however, in a separate area/board, her SISTER posts that she's been involved in this crazy sitch, and she's glad she's not the only who has seen the pattern - referring to MY post!

i wasn't sure whether to post it or not, but i'm glad i did, if only so one person could see it and know they're not crazy. i'm glad she let me know that i also am not crazy.

apparently it was sister, not in-law, and she's also PG. and the first person did not mention the nasty word she hurled at her - beginning with C and _I'VE_ never said it!

so, i'm hearing two different sides, and one is refraining from getting into it, and the other can't stop screaming. you know which side i'm going to sympathize with!

ps - it's her SIXTH child, not fifth. just do not understand this mentality at all. _I_ was upset to find i was having boys, more so the first time than the second. but you're not in charge!

pulling my hair out

i spend WAY too much of my day in online rooms. i've been at webMD for a couple of years now, and i've been in the trying to conceive room and now the pregnancy rooms for most of this year.

most of the people are extremely supportive and tolerant of differences. sometimes they get advice they don't like, which they will explain why they aren't taking it, or just ignore it.

but you have to get one bad apple in the bunch. this girl is so DAMN negative i have previously clicked "ignore user" so i wouldn't have to read her bitchy posts. she's a or two month ahead of me in her pregnancy. she used to whine all the time, then complain that people weren't replying to HER posts, and that must be personal. PLEASE! the only reason it would be personal is b/c she's such a monster.

she's been venting for some time about EVERYTHING. venting is a good thing. when people offer suggestions, you should be grateful, even if they're not what you want to hear. and we're all hormonal.

well, she found out what gender baby she's having (her fifth, think she'd be used to not being in charge by now!), and she is psychotic over it. told her sister-in-law how very upset she was, and SIL talked to MIL and discussed CPS, b/c chickie is seriously going off.

sure, everybody vents. and i wouldn't go so far as CPS. but her in-laws are trying to get her to see she's more upset than is normal and that she should get/accept some help.

any reply to her tirade that suggested she could use some counseling or medication to help the sitch was met with virulent opposition. she was yelling at the people who were trying to help her - further confirming in MY mind that she NEEDED it.

i just can't cope with this kind of person. i'm emotionally dependent on my chat rooms as they are most of my adult interaction throughout the day, but this one child in an adult's body is ruining it for me! and i have to maintain cordial relationships b/c i run the "mommy list" we're both on.

well, i'll have to reply some of my thoughts from here (see two paragraphs up), and see how she responds. i'd probably do better to keep my mouth shut, but that's just not me!


i'd probably do better to keep my mouth shut, but that's just not me!

everybody vents. your in-laws' reactions were extreme and went too far when they said the word/letters "CPS."

but most of the people here are extremely supportive, and tolerant of differences. it's one of the reasons i love my webMD message boards. i didn't see anyone giving you anything but positive messages and suggestions. whether you agree or not, i was shocked by your reaction to people who are trying to help you.

i have to say that your replies to people's suggestions and offerings only confirmed in my mind that you do need some kind of help.

you do have every right to be mad [her words], and every right to disagree. but the level you've taken this to is unhealthy, and you're not handling things well.

we're all hormonal, and we all overreact sometimes. and i'd like to think that's what is going on. and i WAS glad to see that you know you're in a bad place, and that should it continue, you know to seek help.

please give your fellow preggos the benefit of the doubt and stop accusing people of "always" giving you negative feedback or singling you out for negative treatment. nobody here is doing that to my experience, and this isn't the first time i've read your posts complaining of that.
we're all here to support one another - it goes both ways. we want you to come to a peaceful place about this baby, whatever gender it comes out with. and we want you here, to share in the support and love that goes around. (((big hugs)))

Thursday, December 28, 2006

joke of the day 12/28/06

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?"

The clerk says no, and the duck leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"

The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves.

The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?"

The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?"

The clerk replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

Thursday, December 21, 2006

I've been Tagged!

It's a Christmas poll!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate. I still love eggnog, but prefer chocolate anything!
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He wraps them.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colors. I'm never going to have the beautiful classy tree at the stores, I'm going to have a real tree (ok, fake), with mixed up ornaments and kids helping.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Whenever we get the energy after Thanksgiving. I did put jingle bells on the doorknobs early this year, I was so excited (i.e. before Thanksgiving!).
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? cranberry relish is my first thought. I think we're going to have Chinese for Christmas dinner this year as I have to work.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? looking at the Christmas lights with my glasses off/contacts out (they're all blurry and beautiful that way).
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Don't remember. I wasn't especially young.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We didn't when I was young, but my family started opening them after I moved out. I really don't like to; it's not Christmas yet! To yield to the urges of others, I buy jammies for my kids and let them open those on Christmas Eve (from Grandma and Papa).
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I contract it out to the children, who enjoy it thoroughly!
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Didn't move to NC twice for joy of snow. Would be happy to never see snow again.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes, but DH can't (can't rollerskate either), so haven't in many moons.
13. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family visits and games and good times together. I love the church traditions and carols too.
14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? #1 son loves sweet potato pie any time, so we eat it on the holidays. otherwise - fudge! or spritz cookies.
15. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I like to look at the lights. DH isn't as enthused. A local park puts up thousands of lights and charges to drive through; we're going tonight for #2 son's birthday celebration.
16. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving; receiving is usually more disappointing if you rely on it for your joy.
17. What are favorite Christmas Songs? Oh Come (Oh Come) Emanuel, The Angel Gabriel from heaven Came (Sting did this one!) - most all of them. every time I look in the hymn book I find more I wish we sang more often.

If you've read this, consider yourself tagged! Reply here if you don't have a forum of your own to post!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

NOT complaining today!

i'm finally feeling better! the fatigue is ebbing - and so is my sinus infection! i tried to fight it off myself, but thursday i finally called the OB, told them how long i'd been sick, that my GP normally phones in a prescription but wouldn't b/c i was pregnant, and THEY phoned in a Z-PAK.

friday morning i was already beginning to feel better. that zithromax is good stuff!

i got presents wrapped sat. (except one of brother's, so i haven't been to UPS yet. today for sure!) and cookies baked sun., fudge set. #1 son is begging me to make more fudge - i offered him the spoon to lick, and he declined, said he didn't like fudge. i said try a little taste, it's good, just chocolate chips and a little more stuff. so he tasted and his eyes widened. we have the beginnings of another fudge addict here!

the baking so far is for gifties, so hopefully we'll get another batch made after sister-in-law leaves for northern regions with those.

i'm so glad and grateful to be feeling better! merry christmas everyone!

Friday, December 15, 2006

this may not be up for long

but i gotta vent.

i've been exhausted to the point of growing roots on my couch (being a potato) since getting KU. since i'm 11 weeks tomorrow, that's 8 to 9 weeks of nothing much getting done around here. it's finally lifted somewhat. and then i got the sinus infection last week, which made things worse/not improve.

if i don't work (which i totally couldn't), i don't get paid. don't know about the rest of you! so here i am, don't know how i'm paying the mortgage, don't know how i'm getting through the month (except i can buy food if i don't pay the mortgage, so there ya go). i've already charged the mortgage twice this year due to financial circumstances, any my cards are all maxed now. getting through the next month looks fun - not!

pray for some aid to come my way, will you?

to be fair, DH won't let me ask for help until the sitch is dire, so guess what? i asked today, and DH doesn't have to know. i had hinted, but that's not the same as asking, as mom was quick to reply. she's calling me later.

somebody hug me!

Friday, December 08, 2006

ineeda mary kay meeting

yeah, i'm cracking myself up, too. :p

way back when i started selling Mary Kay, i was a negative person, with negative energy. they taught me to rephrase and rework my energy and find positives in most everything. i lost a LOT of money, but i had tremendous personal growth, and felt good about my MK experiences. i also felt good about quitting and selling Pampered Chef instead, since it's more "me."

well, i thought i'd won that fight and i was a positive person now. but i'm just getting more and more negative lately. and i'm blaming hormones. i don't care if they're fully responsible or not, but i'm blaming them! since i got PG, i'm more moody, less patient, irritable, and negative. i give myself negative messages all the time and i'm closer to depression than i like to be. gr!

this is supposed to be a HAPPY time. moody, yeah; emotional, yeah; but happy! it's just not fair that i should be downer than i've been in years.

ah well. should i be right and it's hormones, they'll leave eventually, and the parasite will be a leech instead of an internal organism. (shut up. i don't care if those are negative words to use for a positive person whom i'll love with my whole heart. just cuz i know that doesn't mean those words aren't an accurate description.)

don't comment if you don't have nice things to say. gr. i need some positive energy! and hugs.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

update - 9 weeks 5 days

(i didn't want to make it seem like it had only been a week since the last update. LOL.)

saw dr. again yesterday. she had some suggestions for the fatigue that has plagued me the last month! she said i shouldn't keep trying to be superwoman and to DRINK SOME DAMN COFFEE! at which i was much relieved and am actually alert for a while today. who'da thunk? it also helps with the bloat as it stimulates digestive function, to put it politely. of course, that makes me hungry again... but i have healthy snacks and can make good choices.

the nutritionist had great ideas for eating a balanced diet; she said even if i'm eating something that's not exactly 100% healthy, it's ok; just balance the plate with other healthier choices, and control portion size. that sounds SO much easier than trying to eat broiled chicken and steamed veg. every night!

we heard the heartbeat with Doppler, which is awesome! it's very early to be able to do that! dr. also said i'd likely feel fetal movement before my next visit, as this is my third trip down the baby aisle.

i'd been falling into a depressive slump; too much fatigue, not enough work hours, yielding very low income, which increases the depression and fatigue and feeds itself on a nasty cycle. i actually visited with the neighbor and a church lady neighbor yesterday, in addition to my two health-care visits (nutritionist and OB), and i'm feeling MUCH more chipper today. so, in addition to putting caffeine back in my daily regimen, and walking, i'm planning adult human interaction more frequently to keep me off my slide into depression. and i feel very positive today!

can't wait to see my little beaner! won't happen until about Feb., but that's really not long.

Friday, December 01, 2006


i'm bored and restless and i want to cry all the time, but i never have time. i'd probably feel better if i did, but every time i cry (which is infrequent), my kids get all panicked.

I want my mommy!

I hate sitting at my desk and working and we're broke b/c i've been SO exhausted the last month. seriously broke. christmas will be mighty lean!

somebody give me a pity party so i can get over feeling this way?