Friday, June 04, 2010

just when you thought it was safe...

to breathe again...

#1 son is turning 13 sunday. somehow i've managed to sublimate this knowledge until today. i'm not ready, and i'm not going to BE ready. it just doesn't seem possible.

he hasn't really HIT puberty yet; he gets growing pains and whatnot and has a little peach fuzz on his lip, a tiny bit more in the pits, and some smallish pimples. if he were 6 inches taller than me it would be a little easier to swallow, somehow, i think? his dad didn't really hit his growth until 16, though, so it's unlikely to hit any time soon.

my inappropriate thought when he mentioned some peach fuzz was: are you getting it down south too? then my mommy mind said "WAH! my baby is hitting milestones that _I_ _CAN'T_ _WITNESS_!_!_!_"

you know, it isn't that i WANT to see those changes so much as that he's changing in ways i CAN'T observe. he's my baby, he isn't supposed to grow up! he still has uber-fair skin and thinking about it sprouting hairs is just WRONG! when he starts to shave i will cry and cry.

i know, they're supposed to grow up and be independent. watching it HAPPEN is hard.

Thursday, June 03, 2010


where did May go?

Life is, as usual, overwhelming. Tell stories about it? I barely have time to live it!

our horrible rental house has a FORTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD AIR CONDITIONER. i know, i can barely count that high. it's been repaired twice this year already, and apparently has a coolant leak. yippee. the cheap-shit landlord had better fix it this time, is all i can say.

too hot to breathe = time to go out to dinner! so we did last night. we sat at a booth with lolly on a booster in a chair at the end of the table. she's a very self-possessed almost-3-year-old and we didn't think twice about it.

until she leaned over a little bit in my direction, which threw the thing off-balance, and fell HEAD-FIRST toward the floor.

my left arm shot out, wrapped around her belly, and yanked upward JUST before her head made contact. it was so close i expected her to cry; i really didn't think i had made it in time. all rich had time to do was say "oh, shit." i'm still kinda waiting for the panic and pain.

i practically got a round of applause. somehow, everybody sitting near us happened to be looking our way at the moment, and nobody else could believe it either. my shoulder may be strained, but my baby is in one piece.

with adrenaline pumping, i looked up and said "that's a once-in-a-lifetime catch!" would've made the highlights reel if i were on a reality show and had a camera following me 24/7. :D

and it's a story to be preserved. lolly doesn't remember things much but i asked her "who caught you last night?" and she said "YOU!" she actually appreciates it AND appears to remember it.

she's very stoked for her birthday. she wants angels.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

the met gala

y'all, i know i've been mia, and i apologize. life is overwhelming most of the time, lol!

but i had SO MUCH FUN looking at the long slideshow of the red carpet at the met gala, i had to share. i had commentary on many, and i'll highlight the ones i loved so you don't miss them. so click on the slideshow, alt-tab back and forth to my commentary, and enjoy!

[in case you can't tell, the fug girls are my idols!]

1. Jessica Szohr - wonderful, if your goal is to look flatter than Kate Hudson’s “before” shots.
2. Zoe can do no wrong.
3. I’ve never said this before, but Anna actually looks really good here. Age-appropriate, stylish, flattering. The most MOST of us could ask for!
4.5. Meh.
6. Diane Kruger - The most perfect meh ever, the way this fits so beautifully and falls so perfectly, but still meh.
7. More meh.
8. Finally, someone having a good time! Fashion risk, event-appropriate, and happy! Mama happy.
9. He made that for her, and that’s the best he could do?
10. Emma oopsed.
11. Oprah - flawless. Diva extraordinaire!
12. Lily Collins. Don’t know who this is, but I think I love her. This is exquisite. I might have taken the shoes up a notch, but LOVE the color, design, hair, everything!
13. Joy - who? This just doesn’t work, but at least she looks joyful. I want to think it’s almost, fix the hair and lose the spray-tan, but I don’t think it makes it to almost.
14. Claire Danes in Burberry. She looks good, which is, yes, damning her with faint praise. It grows on me but it doesn’t carry me away.
15.16. men.
17. meh.
18. meh. (being Nicole Ritchie, she gets her own entry, but still meh)
19. Gwen Stefani in L.A.M.B. A mistake. She gets a lot more latitude than most, but still no.
20. Kirsten Dunst - GORGEOUS bodice, hair, smile; falls a tad short, but by then I’m just so happy with how she’s looking I don’t care that it needed to be a few inches longer and with better shoes.
21. agita. Don’t make me look long enough to say more.
22. Donatella. It’s a pity she’s so UGLY, as this is a beautiful dress, and she looks amazing in it! Put a bag over her head, please!
23. Tina Fey. That facial expression says it all.
24. J.Lo. Dressing like the queen she is. Hate the hair because that’s all there is to hate on, and she could elevate this from A to Ow-Mami!
25. Chloe. I do NOT love the Sev. Sorry.
26. Padma Lakshmi. A well-intended hot mess.
27. Jessica Alba - Did not screw it up. All I could think as I scrolled down was “please don’t let her ruin this!” She came through.
28. Iman. Another classic, looking classic.
29. Jessica and Justin. meh.
30. Taylor Swift. Sorry - Meh.
31. Vera and Mila. LOVE. Mila must be so fun to dress and/or hang out with. I’d love to see more of both of them, which I couldn’t say of most of the slideshow.
32. Carey Mulligan always looks like a miserable little girl. Going 30 for 30 with that look, as far as I can tell. PLEASE - cheer up, stand up straight, wear something flattering, pretty, and try to enjoy your life!
33. Coca Rocha - MINE. This looks like a gown one needs to see in motion, and it makes me cry for more!
34. Kerry Washington - the dress wears her.
35. SJP - looks better when she isn’t holding her dress up like a 3-year-old. At least she picked something that flatters for a change.
36. Kristin Davis - also being worn by the gown.
37. Malin Ackerman - a near-miss. I almost love this, but it’s the napkin in the lap that just takes it from fun to I-wish-I-liked-this-better.
38. Elizabeth Banks. Next slide please!
39. Eva Mendes - in a unique twist for her, isn’t wearing something flattering, and is being worn by it.
40. Rachel Weisz. I love her. I don’t love this. Ick.
41. “Thankoon for Gap” - major FAIL.
42. Juicy Couture? Looks like a ‘70s bathrobe. Fail.
43. Eva LP. Should be fab, but doesn’t come close. Petite women should NOT wear dresses of this length. It swallows her up.
44. Naomi and Liev - Fail. The dress is the wrong color, wrong design, and wrinkled to boot. It just wears her - AND ages her. Double Fail. (and I’m sorry, but I’ll never get into tux details)
45. Carolina Herrera, wearing a mullet dress. She looks amazing, and she is another icon, so even though I want to pick it apart, I can’t. Way to stay classy!
46. Renee. The hair is such a crime against nature, I can’t help but wonder if she’s hiding recent plastic surgery. Her dress is perfection, but I can’t love anything on her with the hair. Ick.
47. KStew. Nuff sed.
48. Maggie. Burning my eyes - too little bodice (with too-little boobies), too big skirt, too too too Maggie! Love her, but hate her style.
49. Emmy Rossum. Nice dress, bad necklace, terrible hair. Which puts her ahead of SOOO many competitors tonight.
50. Thandie Newton - being consumed by a bad dress. If the design were better, it would wear her, but since it’s a mess, it can’t even claim that.
51. Rosario - reminds me of that terrible black-and-white-bow dress Anne Hathaway wore several years ago - makes the girls looks squished and saggy, which leaves it beyond redemption.
52. Gisele - Nobody else could make me love this. SLAMMIN’.
53. Stella, Liv, and Kate - two Fails and a Meh. Kate is stuck in one groove, and now that she has a bosum she thinks she needs to show it, which makes it close to a fail.
54. Kristen Bell in overwhelming newsprint.
55. Brooke Shields is a GODDESS!
56. Katy Perry is a lunatic, but I gotta love her.
57. Mary Blige - oh, HELL no. Coulda been fab, but wasn’t even a near-miss.
58. M.I.A. F.A.I.L.
59. meh men.
60. Emma Roberts - Cute meh.
61. Blake Lively - God love her, I enjoy her self-overexposure.
62. Anne Hathaway - looked better in the background! Should’ve done something more princess-y with the hair, and REALLY needs to balance the big V on her chest. Very near-miss.
63. January, it’s May, and you are OUT.
64. Alessandra Ambrosio - isn’t boring. I might even love this - for the met, for her, for the moment.
65. Abbie Cornish - being worn by Louis Vuitton
66. Marion Cotillard - OMG, back in form, classic, gorgeous, WIN, A-PLUS! please stay with us and don’t stray into fug territory ever again! We much prefer to love you.
67. Whoopi and someone else looking very underdressed, but nicely pressed.
68. is this the waiter?
69. Kate Bosworth, you look lovely.
70. Rachel Zoe - remember when I said Zoe could do no wrong? I was NOT talking about you. Eat a DAMN SANDWICH, and NEVER wear a dress that has a bow on the waist that’s bigger than you. FAIL.
71. Melissa George - THIS is how you do yellow. And I’d like to see her again, because she could have disappeared into that dress, but she doesn’t.
72. Christina - please note, this is how you do NOT do boobs (or hips, but they’re the lesser sin today). Girl, you’ve been BLESSED, but you do not look it in this - you look BLOATED.
73. the Trumps - looking rich and pleased with themselves. Makes me wish I could fail them, but they are too spot-on.
74. Sienna and Jude - WTH? Sienna looks old and stringy in a mullet dress, and Jude’s eye is wandering. Fail - but can I fail her and keep him?
75. Rachel Bilson looking very pretty. I wish the dress fit better, but not a fail (damning with faint praise again, though).
76. Mariska Hargitay - walking close to the line of being overwhelmed by the dress, but she made me look twice and thrice, which is NEVER a mistake, so WIN. And I LOVE the color, I LOVE the balance with the necklace, so on fourth glance, it’s not so close to that line.
77. Bar Rafaeli looking demonic. FAIL.
78. Jessica Stam - perfection, if your goal is drawing all attention to your navel. Had potential. Fail.
79. Gayle King - the only magenta dress that looks fab tonight!
80. Diane Lane - meh, only it doesn’t fit through the bodice, and it should. The hair should look clean, too.
81. Janet Jackson - this could have been a major win, if only it wasn’t for the tennis balls we’ve seen too often.
82. Dracula himself.
83. men - but yummy men! Who IS that???
84. can I just fail all three without naming names?
85. Mayor and guest - who is one of the absolute most GORGEOUS women there tonight! Amazing dress, amazing presence - who cares about the shlubby mayor?
86. and for contrast - oh, HELL, no.
87. men, and Burberry. Meh.
88. diane kruger wannabe - meh.
89. I can’t say anything but FAB for Naomi, she might kick my a$$.
90. eek, Katie! The dress makes you look thick and middle-aged - which your body may be, but your spirit is not, so work it, girl! And find something else for the next event. (also hearkens back A.H.’s bow dress - without the droopy bosum, but WITH the emphasis where it ought not be.)
91. Ivanka - just yuk. Love the color, but not even a near-miss.
92. and in the mannequin category, this overwhelming dress that few could pull off, and fewer still would want to.
93. another mullet dress, with boob-flattening detail, in magenta. Triple fail on one girl - major accomplishment!
94. somebody else designing for Gap - and it looks like a Gap outfit, no matter what she paid. FAIL.
95. dress = meh. Boots = FAIL.
96. another vampire, yawn.
97. Camilla Belle, looking DIVINE! Red dress on red carpet can be a problematic combo, but not this time. STUNNING.
98. Cassie - anywhere else would be a fail, but I’m actually loving this. Maybe any-ONE else would be a fail, but the dress is kinda cool, and the shoes match without matchy-matching, with the clutch - I think she wins!
99. Just as her expression says, oh, HELL no. and she doesn’t dare move for fear of flashing.
100. I don’t hate anything about this, but it just looks meh here. And it shouldn’t.
101. Maggie Grace, you look lovely. But you look MEH lovely. Take a risk!
102. take dress on the left, shoes and bag on the right, and you might have a win. Instead, two fails.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

hey - didja notice? especially for meg (even though i don't think she reads my blog)

I actually used capitalization in that last post.

today's deep thought...

i've had several thoughts in mind to pass along. where did they go? as soon as i open the window to add a post, my brain goes blank. no fair!

I've had the "Prince of Egypt" playing in the car for a little while now. I really like it, but #1 son gripes. They sing about how "There can be miracles when you believe." And part of me says, but they were BELIEVING for 400 years of servitude before the MIRACLE happened.

boy was i negative for a while there.

But I'm on new depression meds, and now it is INSPIRING! to believe i can do what needs doing, and that things will work out! raise your hands in the air if you believe! A-MEN! *giggle*snort*

Saturday, February 06, 2010


Big Brothers have a profound influence on one's development.

i went grocery shopping yesterday because there was a strong chance of freezing rain and i didn't want to deal with ice. while i was gone #1 son texted me to ask me to buy bacon.

i didn't go to the store that carries nitrite-free bacon. i went to the closer store to get things done. i read every !@#$% package of bacon and they all had sodium nitrite in them.

i remembered while visiting PA my SIL had served johnsonville sausage and we had read the package; no nitrites! so i picked up some J'vil breakfast sausage.

the boys were happy. DH was happy. Lolly would not touch them.

until i told her they were zombie fingers.

then she picked up her fork and ate 3 whole (cut-up) zombie fingers. with glee and relish and saying "Zombie Fingers!" over and over.

what an imp. we do what we must!

Friday, January 29, 2010

oh-oh, play doh!

i bought lolly some play-doh a while back for a road trip. not the best plan, but i didn't find much that would be entertaining. fortunately, she loves to draw right now and we never opened them. we got home for ANOTHER road trip tuesday and when we brought everything in from the car, she saw this. so she has been playing with play-doh for 2.5 days.

she is a hoot. she mixes all of the colors together (maddening when i want to play, funny since i don't. much) and cuts them up like an apple with the "sharp knife" that came with the kit. it's a seaside kit, 3 colors, 1 pot of "sand"-textured play-doh, some shapes and other stuff.

it's already almost brown from mixing. she's making birthday cake now. and she will NOT put them away and cries if i do. she'll have to learn that play-doh dries out the hard way, i'm afraid. so my daughter.

at least i have my charming girl to play with since there is SNOW forecast later today and all weekend. gr.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

January blahs

and i have nothing to say. it's weird, when i was so chatty in december, but january is a different month. (yes, profound, deep thoughts; it's the title of the blog!)

hoping everyone is having a good january, staying warm, and thinking inappropriate and/or amusing thoughts!

Sunday, January 10, 2010


friday night, instead of a date, i spent 4 hours sewing the entire quilt top together. i had purchased batteries earlier in the day so i do have electronic record, but haven't yet uploaded as i've been working all weekend, WITH a head cold that promises sinus infection soonest.

guess what DH found saturday? the damn batteries. at least they're good for 7 years.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

a bug bit me

so, lolly and i were tooling around the EE yesterday. the library was closed to move over the holidays and doesn't reopen until TOMORROW; when we showed up and the doors were locked lolly said "oh, no! what are we going to DO?" and i said, we'll go rent a movie. when we got out of the car at wally's to hit the redbox, she said "i want the other santa clause movie." so we headed for the back of the store to see if it was there. (she's been watching 1 and 2 in rotation, so 3 could only be a benefit for those of us who live here with her.)

oops. i bought a camera. it was $19 and doesn't zoom and probably isn't very many megapixels, but she threw away my old one (which was kinda new and NICE) in april and i'm tired of making do with the camera phone. we found Monsters versus Aliens for $10 packaged with a bonus monster featurette, which made her happier since all the christmas movies went back to the warehouse already.

i brought the camera home and went to find my AAA batteries; i bought a 20-pack or something before Christmas. whoever got one out got the only one, apparently, because NOBODY IN MY HOUSE KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THESE BATTERIES. so now i can't take pictures until i buy more, and i don't WANT to, i already BOUGHT batteries! gr.

since finances are really tight right now (oil costs the earth, there's no work at christmas, and i spent the oil money on christmas), i felt i'd spent too much. so i went down the craft aisle and bought a $20 bundle of fabric. yes. let me say it again. it's aquas and pinks and chocolate BATIKS (swoon), cut into 2-1/2-inch strips. what's the point, you ask? i don't have to pick colors, i don't have to cut, I CAN GO HOME AND CREATE!

i'd been thinking about making a basket-weave pattern quilt, and thinking about what colors i wanted. when i saw these, i said YES! and lolly said PINK! and we took them home, got out the sewing machine (idle lo these many years), and sewed 50 strips into 25 strips, and 24 strips into 12 panels 4 strips wide. used two bobbins up. today we're going to cut these strips into 8-1/2-inch segments and put together the top of the quilt. whee!

and if my children hadn't lost my BATTERIES, i could post pictures. it's kind of random because lolly helped pick which strips to put together; i would have spent more time on that and been more "artistic," counted how many pinks i had and how many blues, and so on, but it's her quilt and it's kinda cool she helped.

so watch for the next battery post...

Wednesday, January 06, 2010


lolly is sick.

she woke up yesterday morning at 2 a.m. with a fever that felt like close to 104 (why torture a sick kid with a cold thermometer? just give them tylenol and cuddle them against your cool skin). tossed and turned the rest of the night; i took her to the recliner by 2:30 to let DH sleep.

she felt ooky yesterday and had lots of runny nose. kept giving tylenol by the clock to keep her a little comfortable.

so i emailed work and said i'd be in late, sick baby, up all night and such. got on, no work, kept checking back and typing the account i hate that had a few reports on it.

DH calls me around noon and says "how are you enjoying your day off?"

i'm scheduled to work this weekend so i get tues. and wed. off. completely forgot.

emailed work and said "just kidding! i WON'T be back today! hahahahaha." they were very amused. at least i didn't forget until sunday evening, like i did a couple of months ago. eek!

last night we both slept well; she slept a good 12 hours and is feeling better, temp closer to 100 before i gave her medicine this morning. praise be! and i didn't try to go to work.

Monday, January 04, 2010

missing the kids

NOT! they went back to school today, and i'm hoping for a return to a normal life and normal habits. not gonna happen, i know, but let me live in my delusionary world for a little while.

one of the best early lessons i learned about being a parent is this: just when you think you've got everything settled down, it will change. in other words, don't be too excited about how well your childcare solution is working because next month it won't.

back to LaLa land, both lolly's and mine...

Sunday, January 03, 2010

life after holidays

it's a lot calmer. kinda boring. peaceful.

we cleaned up the living room yesterday and it looks great! now if only the other 7 rooms in the house looked like that, i'd feel like we had accomplished something.

with a calmer life comes less inspiration for bloggity. december was a banner month; what will become of january?

they've forecast a record-level cold snap for the next 2 weeks. i may be in hibernation; i WILL be charging oil rather than paying cash, which i HATE. i may be a bear when i come out of hibernation in february.

i refuse to be predictable. that's because i have no idea what i'm doing from one MINUTE to the next, let alone day! hahaha

enjoy the mystery that is Deep Thoughts.