Wednesday, January 16, 2008

25 signs you're getting old

everybody likes a funny! this is a trend I should keep...

1. Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in the elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14 (if you're lucky!).
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those &%#$ kids next door wont turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payment goes up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings would severley upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofin and antacids,not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink like I used to!" replaces " I'm never gonna drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before you go to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit - what the hell happened?"
Bonus: 26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

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