to breathe again...
#1 son is turning 13 sunday. somehow i've managed to sublimate this knowledge until today. i'm not ready, and i'm not going to BE ready. it just doesn't seem possible.
he hasn't really HIT puberty yet; he gets growing pains and whatnot and has a little peach fuzz on his lip, a tiny bit more in the pits, and some smallish pimples. if he were 6 inches taller than me it would be a little easier to swallow, somehow, i think? his dad didn't really hit his growth until 16, though, so it's unlikely to hit any time soon.
my inappropriate thought when he mentioned some peach fuzz was: are you getting it down south too? then my mommy mind said "WAH! my baby is hitting milestones that _I_ _CAN'T_ _WITNESS_!_!_!_"
you know, it isn't that i WANT to see those changes so much as that he's changing in ways i CAN'T observe. he's my baby, he isn't supposed to grow up! he still has uber-fair skin and thinking about it sprouting hairs is just WRONG! when he starts to shave i will cry and cry.
i know, they're supposed to grow up and be independent. watching it HAPPEN is hard.